I Hate My Developer

Follow Me

2010-02-22T18:38:00.001-06:00

The blog has moved.

I Hate My Developer is now live on ChicagoNow.

Come on over and continue reading about my little patch of Woodlawn.

Moving Day

2010-02-18T18:04:00.002-06:00

Yes, it's really happening.

This humble concern will soon have a new home at ChicagoNow, a Chicago Tribune media property.

Lift your jaws up off the ground.

You'll still get the same cracker jack observations, sleuthing and general rabble rousing that you've always loved, but you'll be surrounded by just a few more people.

And when I say few more I mean a lot more.

The business of moving the blog is underway. Once a few more things are in place, I expect I Hate My Developer 2.0 to go live sometime next week.

Strap yourselves in kids, this is gonna get interesting.

Futility

2010-02-17T06:39:00.002-06:00

There's some unfinished business beneath the snow on the ground.

Unfinished business in the form of liquor bottles, paper and other random foolishness that people tend to dump on the parkway.

The person in charge of maintenance at Mt. Carmel has yet to respond to my latest e-mail from nearly two months ago.

Of course one might make the excuse that the snow would hinder an effective cleanup.

Yet had the trash issue been addressed in a timely manner, there would be no need for the conversation.

So I'll write another e-mail.

I won't be shocked if it's blown off---again.

Futility really does have a name---and a location.

Clueless

2010-02-16T07:40:00.000-06:00

No I don't know when the Bloggie winners are going to be announced.

I also don't know if anyone will get a head's up prior to the awards ceremony at South by Southwest in Austin (SXSW).

I don't want to stalk Nikolai (the creator of "The Bloggies") since he actually lives in Chicago. Me peppering him with questions won't change the vote totals.

I'd like to give a huge thank you to all of you who took the time to vote for my humble little concern.

If you must know, the suspense is killing me as well.

For Sale

2010-02-15T10:23:00.001-06:00

Here's the question of the day:

Do you think it's possible to purchase an investment property and give a shit about the neighborhood where it resides?

I'm confident that this property will be snapped up by some suburban investor who will soon renovate the building and rent it out.

If past behaviors are anything to go on, the units won't be market rate.

That may or may not be a good thing.

The building next door to this one was beautifully renovated the renters are seemingly good neighbors.

The scuttlebutt is that some if not all of the units are subsidized.

In the scheme of things, who gives a fig if the units are subsidized as long as your neighbors are decent people.

Some would say that building is an anomaly.

Perhaps the owners or property managers exercised proper tenant screening.

Whatever the case may be I will tell you this.

I'm tired of the fortunes of this neighborhood being tied to the whims and wishes of other people.

Thing 1

2010-02-14T10:29:00.002-06:00

The good news is I still have hair on my head.

The bad news is that on occasion I'm a dead ringer for Thing One from "Cat in the Hat."

I knew this transition was going to be extremely challenging.

Winter is the best time to start matters of this nature since you can easily explain away the constant presence of a hat.

Truthfully, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want my hair back.

She always looked good and allowed me to indulge my love of hot rollers and Aqua Net.

Yet you have to hold true. You have to hold fast.

Moreover I simply can't afford to spend the money.

So now I'm over a month in.

And while my hair is not looking as good as it should, it is starting to respond to my no chemical strategy.

Now that's not to say that a relaxer isn't in my future.

But putting a relaxer in hair that hasn't seen a good one in a while is like bringing a cheap umbrella to a monsoon.

Both are ineffective and won't produce the desired results.

My initial thoughts were to ease my hair back into actual styling. Hence my purchase of an electric pressing comb.

Because my hair is still fairly fragile I try to keep the heat (pressing comb, curling irons) to a minimum.

Let's face it folks, I need to be seen out in public at some point.

I prefer it not to be looking like a cartoon character.

Evolution

2010-02-11T13:33:00.002-06:00

An exciting change is on the horizon for I Hate My Developer. Stay tuned for the big announcement in the next few days!

Really, Senator Durbin?

2010-02-11T01:11:00.000-06:00

The back and forth continues:

Dear Woody:

Thank you for sharing your personal struggle to modify your mortgage through your bank. Too many families across the country are having a tough time staying in their homes, and our nation's banks are not doing nearly enough to help.

I am fighting to help Americans stay in their homes, but the banks are not meeting us in the middle. Congress supported the emergency aid package for banks, in part to revive the nation's credit markets. Yet lending and mortgage modification remain at record low levels.

The United States is working its way through the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. The mortgage crisis has placed millions of families at risk of foreclosure. Currently, 1 in 8 mortgages is in foreclosure, and more families face foreclosure as existing loans reset their interest rates.

The Obama Administration has taken some steps to encourage loan modifications, but the very banks that caused the financial crisis in the first place have been very resistant to implementing the loan modifications families need. The Home Affordable Mortgage Program (HAMP) and the Home Affordable Refinance Plan (HARP) have created incentives for banks to negotiate with individual homeowners, but many banks have dragged their feet.

I have cosponsored S. 1731, the Preserving Homes and Communities Act of 2009, introduced by Senator Reed of Rhode Island. This bill would provide targeted relief to qualified homeowners through loan modification and mortgage assistance programs. It also incentivizes states and local governments to create strong mediation programs so more families can stay in their homes. Loan modifications not only help families, they also stabilize communities protect them from greater financial losses.

Historically, home ownership has been a pillar of our economy and an integral part of the American dream. I introduced the Helping Families Save Their Homes in Bankruptcy Act (S. 61), which would have allowed bankruptcy judges to modify the terms of mortgage loans on a principal residence for homeowners who meet strict income and expense criteria. This step is already allowed for mortgages on vacation homes and family farms and could have helped 600,000 families keep their homes. Unfortunately, because of strenuous opposition from the banking lobby and its allies in the Senate, my amendment was not successful.

Your voice is a valuable part of this discussion. I will continue to keep your family's situation in mind as Congress responds to the economic challenges facing American families.

Thank you again for your message. Please feel free to keep in touch.

Talk about stating the obvious.

While it's admirable that Senator Durbin introduced legislation to help people save their homes, his response did not answer my initial questions.

Why wasn't the HAMP legislation written to consider unemployment?

I said it before and I'll say it again---HAMP legislation was poorly written. It merely serve as a smoke screen by the government to appear as if they're helping the public.

You're screwed if you're laid off AND you have equity in your home.

Just give me a coke and a smile and tell me to shut the eff up.

That would be more effective than pretending to help.

Was it wrong of me to expect more of Senator Durbin than robotic responses?

Courting

2010-02-09T16:46:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago I had the privilege to sit in on Judge William Pileggi's court call.

My developer, Carlton Knight, was back in court about the Marquette building.

It's been over two years since the city filed a lawsuit in an attempt to compel Mr. Knight to bring the back porch into code compliance.

Two years of continuances. Two years of not bringing the porch into compliance.

With that in mind, I left the south side and went to see Mr. Knight's latest court appearance about this matter.

Sadly, his case was moved up in the call and I missed his appearance.

As a bonus, I did get to see him outside of the courtroom.

And no I did not hiss at him as I passed by.

I seized the opportunity to see the wheels of justice in motion and stayed for the rest of court.

To see people who are overwhelmed with trying to do right by their homes and their communities is a humbling event.

I have a Ph.D from the school of hard knocks with a minor in getting my ass kicked.

But it was also gratifying to see the judge give irresponsible home owners and landlords the business.

Honestly speaking, that comprised only a few of the cases but it was still fascinating to witness.

Judge Pileggi genuinely and honestly seemed to fairly balance the needs and resources of the home owner, the codes and laws of the city of Chicago and the safety of the community.

In short, he seems like a stand up guy.

Which makes me wonder if his good nature is being taken advantage of.

Anthem

2010-02-05T01:00:00.003-06:00

Everything old is new again.

Thank you Mr. Ellis for reacquainting me with this wonderful piece of Americana.

Temper, Temper

2010-02-01T10:31:00.002-06:00

Did I not tell you that hurt feelings run deep over here?

Those letter's are something else, no?

But in the Teacher's defense, I know why she's got an ax to grind with me.

And in the past I have been guilty of leaving items in hallway.

For a long time.

And when I say a long time I mean over three days. Yes, I know that's beyond the boundaries of good neighborhsip.

I've since reformed my ways but if I'm schlepping things up and down three flights of stairs, I just make sure they're not in the way or left out for over 24 hours.

While we're telling truths, I also understand why she's upset with out current president after being given a hard time about frequency of meetings and asociation business transparency.

You see my friends, when your just an owner, it's really easy to bitch about things that aren't being done; it's much more difficult to assume the mantle of leadership and try to bring about that change.

I know, I've done it.

With two jobs and an active social life, might I add.

So I know how challenging it can be keeping the ship on the tried and true.

But now this shit is officially gone from the sublime to the ridiculous.

To address her crazy rants point by point, line by line would be exhausing.

And I'm not even going to get into the things I find annoying about her little domestic situation.

I might be unemployed but I have better things to do.

Not only can you all read, but you can read between the lines. You know crazy when you see (or read) crazy.

I'm not going to insult your intelligence.

But I will submit the following photograph for your inspection:

Clearly these "cheap, fake" tucked away boots by my front door are causing a tripping hazzard to person and property.

And to be super extra neighborly, I just picked up a can of Odor Eaters Foot and Sneaker Spray Powder to deal with any stinkiness.

'Cause let's face it---sometimes you don't smell your own shit.

But I do know poor conflict resolution skills.

The Smell Test

2010-01-31T11:41:00.002-06:00

As promised, the second letter from The Teacher:

"One last thing, I haven't seen this problem in any other of our buildings, apparently the rest of you are lucky to live in a building with clean neighbors. Frankly, I have only seen this problem in nasty buildings with dirty people, but in our building there is a unit owner who leaves shoes and boxes of stuff outside of their front door. Now, on occasion, that is not a problem. But this is a daily occurrence in my building, the owner has been asked in the past to refrain from doing so. It also sinks up the hallway in the immediate area where the shoes are located! I am asking the board to remind unit owners in writing that per the bylaws, there shouldn't be any shoes or other boxes/garbage left out in the common element hallway. Although this unit owner has been told in the past, perhaps placing a fine on it will finally eliminate the problem (also get $ for the board!). It is unsightly, especially when the shoes are cheap, fake, old and wet! In any event, please remind all unit owners this is not a project, or apartment building where personal property is left out in the open. Perhaps that is what they are use to and probably where they come from, but unit owners who leave shoes and/or trash out in the hall should realize that they have moved up in the world to this beautiful Woodlawn condo building! A few years ago, we actually had a neighbor's underwear sitting outside of her door! Nasty people, I tell you! By the way, this is not just a complaint from me, other unit owners in my building have complained about this neighbor leaving trash/boxes/shoes in the front hallway, as it is also sometimes left at the bottom landing of the stairway, yes, right where people enter and exit! Go figure!

Let's remind unit owners to not act like the "cuzins" by leaving junk and person items in the hallways, and to leave shoes/garbage either within their personal unit or in the trash. I know that a year ago someone else volunteered to draft a letter about this, but it was never done. I will volunteer this time to write the letter for the board's review, indicating that there will be a fine for people leaving junk outside of their door in the common area, either in front hallway or back porches. Please make this an agenda item for the next meeting for board vote.

Thank you kindly,"

Wow.

Wowzy, wowzy woo.

In case you didn't know, that letter is about me.

Once again I'm the bad neighbor.

Spirit of Cooperation

2010-01-30T08:01:00.003-06:00

Remember earlier in the month I asked if we could "build a bridge, get over ourselves and be able to conduct association business?"

Judging by the scathing letter sent by The Teacher last night, clearly the answer is no.

This letter was addressed to our association president with most of the other owners cc'd in:

"How soon can we expect the problem to move from "being addressed" to actually "being fixed." I'm not certain if we are talking about the same door, but I am talking about the front door to your building. I'm not sure if you have noticed that it is beyond an electrical issue, the actual lock handle is getting stuck, not the buzzer. I hope you do not tell an electrician to fix it when it should also be a lock repair person who can give you an assessment of the problem and the cost to fix it. I am curious as to who told you it was a weather related electrical problem? Have you gotten a second opinion? If not, you should probably get a second opinion because it is clearly a lock/handle issues also, not just weather related. Last week when the weather got up to the 40's, was it not still stuck? I ask because as a unit owner, I want to make sure my assessment payments are used wisely for things to get done correctly the first time around.

This is not just an "inconvenience," as you describe it. It is a serious fire safety, hazardous issue that must be fixed as soon as possible, especially with children in your building who, on an emergency basis, may need to exit without having a cell phone or access to the back. Please notify me if your repair person does not fix the problem today, as you indicated in the posted sign, so that I can be sure to follow up with you.

Also, what is the status of the Federal ID numbers that you said last month you would resolve? Any movement on that end, it is tax time after all and we still do not have a correct tax #?

When can unit owners expect a meeting again? The bylaws indicate that we should have meet in January, but unit owners have not received anything related to a board meeting. Given that you expressed your thorough knowledge of the bylaws at the last board meeting, I am curious as to why you have not taken the steps needed to have the required January meeting? After all, adhering to the bylaws was a HUGE concern at the last meeting, as you may recall.

I am also wondering what is the hold up with the board supplying the unit owners with an annual budget. I know I typed up a draft for you a month ago and the board reviewed it at the subcommittee meeting. Do you still need more help to hold a meeting to approve the budget for distribution to unit owners? It is also in the bylaws, which you appeared to be well versed in at the last meeting, to provide annual budget for unit owners. Do you need more help with that too? Please let me know.

Also, what is the status of the management company? Unit owners want to know, and need to know, if we are indeed getting a management company. Ironically enough, the people who are complaining about not having a management company are usually the same people who can't even afford to pay their assessments! In any event, I know that having a management company was a huge concern for you, me, and several other unit owners at the last meeting. If I recall correctly, it was you and your daughter who were the most vocal in insisting on a management company. Now that you are the board president, what is the delay with getting a management company?

Finally, are you aware if there has been any progress on ANY of the violations? What steps are you taking, as president, to ensure that we are ready for the next court date? Please let me know.

Although we are not on the board, XXXX, XXXX, and I (a few others, too), we have been very active in trying to get quotes for the board. Have you attempted to get any quotes also, since you are the president? Maybe XXXX can help, if she is not too busy? XXXX was very concerned about board issues at the last meeting and maybe that can translate into something positive, actual work with the board, now that you are board president? Maybe, just a thought? In reality, right now, it looks like the board needs all the help it can get, so really, ANYONE who can get a quote would be great. Please let me know.

You now know that being on the board is a constant amount of work, so thank you for stepping up to the plate and being the board president to lead in the resolution of all these problems. Unless of course, if you pass off the work to other people who are not on the board, then that is simply passing the buck! But I am certain you won't make that foolish mistake of passing board work off to nonboard members, because people will complain about it behind your back, as some already have, and start talking about your inability to follow-up. Just so you are aware.

The only other thing I can say is......I sure am glad I'm not on the board, it's too much work! I know that you can now finally appreciate the amount of work it takes!

Thanks again."

Thanks again?

Wow...

I can't imagine why our condo board meetings are filled with tension and drama.

The Teacher was certainly on a roll yesterday. That wasn't the only thing she had on her mind.

Yele Haiti

2010-01-29T12:00:00.006-06:00

This always happens.

Almost every time I call or seek a trades person to give me an estimate on work, I don't receive a call back.

Everything is okey doke and genial on the phone, except when we get to the address part.

Then there's a pregnant pause, a very hurried confirmation, assurances that someone will call me back and a dial tone.

The estimate falls into a black hole.

As a matter of fact, I'm going through this very problem right now.

It's not that I have the money to embark on any home improvement projects right now but it would be nice to have an idea of what it might cost should the funds become available.

Unfortunately as a south sider, things just aren't that easy.

In light of Mr. O'Reilly's comments, he was simply saying what many other certainly already believe.

Why else would you not respond to an inquiry for new business in the middle of one of the worst recessions ever recorded?

Many incorrectly believe that the south side is a shit hole and beyond redemption.

Yet what Mr. O'Reilly and the rest of the south side's detractors fail to acknowledge is that the disinvestment and isolation are just now starting to thaw in our neighborhoods.

It's easy to point out everything wrong with the south side when you don't sit and take into consideration the decades of near political disenfranchisement, severe rationing of key public services, schools with defacto segregation and stark income inequality.

So yes, the south side has a long way to go before she's back to her former glory but the situation is not quite as dire as some would have you believe.

You know what though---I consider Mr. O'Reilly's statement to be more of a compliment than an insult.

Considering Chicago was founded by a Haitian, I am honored as a south sider to be held next to the can do spirit and ever lasting optimism of the Haitian people.

I know few people would could deal with the grinding poverty and lack of opportunities, loose over 100,000 of their fellow countrymen in a devastating natural disaster then summon the strength to sing at their darkest hour.

I am in awe of their resilience.

It makes bitching about getting a someone to show up to give you an estimate look meaningless in comparison.

Yele Haiti.

Exhaustion

2010-01-28T18:27:00.003-06:00

I received this love note in the mail today:

"Your entitlement to regular unemployment insurance will exhaust in the near future. Upon exhaustion, a claim for 20 weeks of emergency unemployment compensation (EUC08) will be established for you. If for any reason you are ineligible for the 20 weeks of EUC08 you will be notified in writing. There is no need to contact your local office unless you do not receive this notice of ineligibility or a new wage information sheet in the mail within two weeks from the time you actually exhaust your benefits."

There is so much to say about this it boggles the mind. Right now I think I'm going to have a beer and attempt to plot out plans B, C & D.

A Night At The Opera

2010-01-25T14:26:00.004-06:00

This time I was able to hold my homicidal tendencies in check.

You'll be thrilled to know I did not have a near psychotic break at the Lyric Opera last week.

I blame Puccini's Madame Butterfly.

For a person who is already pissed that she had to pay good money to see the female lead in the opera die, Madame Butterfly was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Anyone who has seen Madame Butterfly will confirm that it's impact could be a little intense for a first timer.

I dare you to add gimpy, menstrual, single and over 40 to the mix.

I'm surprised I wasn't putting together my sniper rifle in the dress circle.

But for this Puccini opera, things went much better.

As a matter of fact, you'll also be pleased to know that despite the fact that the heroine dies at the end, I really didn't have a problem with that.

But I digress.

Last week's offering was the moving Tosca.

Tragic story. Beautiful music. All the elements you come to expect from the master.

Knowing my abhorrence for the female protagonist dying, my opera buddy warned me that it wasn't going to end well for the prima donna.

"But not in the way you expect." He said.

"Let me guess, she kills herself." I replied.

He complemented me for my perceptiveness.

"Duh." "How else is she supposed to die in an unexpected way?"

Luckily the Lyric not only has English subtitles but an awesome program that steps you through the story of the opera.

So I usually go through the program and take a look before the lights go down.

It was all pretty standard stuff.

Jealousy, political prisoners, deception, love, passion.

And lust---lots of lust.

But here's the thing that chapped my hide, Scarpia---the bad guy---toally played Tosca the heroine.

For a saucy broad like Tosca, you would think that she would know the reputation of a player like Scarpia in Rome in 1800's.

They ran in the same social circles. How difficult would it have been to pick up on what a dog he was before she listened to anything he was dropping in her ear about her boyfriend.

That Tosca was a jealous one.

Furthermore, why would you ever listen to a guy who has to announce his importance to everyone by wearing a sash AND a cape.

One or the other would have been sufficient.

That's like the rich guy who wears the bespoke suit, drives the Bentley AND flashes the Amex Centurion. One of the three is enough to let us know we clearly aren't in the same tax bracket.

So just like a guy who must wear either his money or station on his sleeve, naturally he had designs on Tosca's goods.

He threatened her boyfriend with bodily harm so she would beg him to save his life

Scarpia wanted her honey pot. He's a low life, that's what they do.

Because Tosca's jealousy boxed her in a corner (she also unknowingly led soldiers to her boyfriend's hiding place), she did what desperate people tend to do when they're in a tight spot, she acted rashly.

And when I say rashly I mean she stabbed a fool.

And when I say fool I mean Scarpia.

So the die was cast. The table had been set. We all knew how this was going to end.

The boyfriend was killed, Tosca was devastated.

Her murderous ways are discovered and she's literally cornered.

Except she wasn't going down easy.

Instead of being taken alive she does an operatic "Top of the world, Ma" and throws herself from the castle rampart.

I would too if I just got played by a guy in a sash AND a cape.

95%

2010-01-23T15:14:00.005-06:00

When you're unemployed, you have to make sure you cover all of your bases.

Since I don't know if I'll qualify for an extension of my unemployment benefits, I've hedged my bets and took the census taker test.

Seeing that the private sector isn't exactly clamoring for my particular set of job skills right now, I thought it might be a good idea to try my luck with the government.

So a tad before Christmas I went online, downloaded the practice test and found a testing facility.

I took the test along with about 25 other people, some of which were taking the test again to raise their scores, then was told to call a toll free number in a few weeks to receive the results.

Now let me emphasize a few things.

The census will start calling qualified individuals in early February based a number of factors besides your score.

What are the needs of your particular census zone? Do you speak another language? Are you a veteran?

Nonetheless, the higher your score, the better the odds that you'll get a phone call for an interview.

A passing score on the 28 question, 30 minute exam is 70%.

Please take into account that this isn't exactly the Jeopardy qualifying test and you can download the practice test prior to taking the exam.

So it didn't come as a surprise that I scored 95%.

Personally, I was kind of pissed I didn't score 100%.

I probably misspelled my name.

What struck me as odd was the air of amazement that someone could do so well the first time out.

The woman I spoke to over the phone about my score was positivity giddy that I scored so high.

So does that mean that I'm surrounded by a bunch of dumbasses in my zip code?

The test was basically sign your name, count to 100 and recite the A,B,C's.

Or has honest to pete reading, writing and 'rithmitic gone so far down the tubes that when a college graduate gets a 95% on the equivalent of an adult basic skills test, she's lauded with praise?

Jesus take the wheel.

Best Kept Secret

2010-01-22T08:12:00.006-06:00

I discovered late last night that "I Hate My Developer" is a finalist in the "Best Kept Secret Weblog" category for the 2010 Bloggies.

I almost plotzed myself.

I'm really honored that voters thought enough of what I write to offer it up to everyone else for their final consideration.

For those of you who are coming to my humble little concern by way of the Bloggie website, welcome.

Since there's no pressure to go through all of the 650+ posts (unless you really want to), if you scoot down the left sidebar you'll see a section labeled "Essential Posts" for your perusal.

'Cause from time to time people want to know how I came up with such a catchy name for the blog.

Nonetheless, lets get down to the important stuff.

Where's the swag?

It's awards season and we all know that with all of these ceremonies and the hoopla there's usually some type of free stuff from luxury purveyors.

They want high profile peeps to be seen in their stuff.

Yet for some reason I don't think that Rolex is clamoring to get the watches on the wrists of Bloggie finalists.

But wouldn't it be a better world if they did?

So in the absence of crazy swag, I'd appreciate your vote.

And the votes of your friends.

A Bloggie may not solve my unemployment issues or help me figure out how to keep my utilities on but it will reinforce that my writing for the past four years has been valued and appreciated.

Frankly speaking, I could use a little bit of both right about now.

Lake Meadows

2010-01-21T10:10:00.002-06:00

It was with great interest that I tripped on down to the Daley Center to take a gander at case number 2009-M1-716905.

Apparently Carlton Knight established a new real estate business venture named Real Dealz.

Unfortunately it seems that things weren't going so well for this new enterprise.

According to court documents, Lake Meadows Shopping Center is in the middle of legal action with Mr. Knight arising from non payment of rent from August of 2008 to July of 2009 for space C-3 located at 3357 South King Drive.

Those same documents allege that Mr. Knight doing business as Real Dealz, owe Lake Meadows $19,229.00.

Yowsa!

While it appears that Lake Meadows took back possession of the unit on October 9, 2009; the money damages portion of the court order was continued until October 14th.

Let that sink in.

They got back possession of their property but don't (according to the court documents) have their money.

Perhaps the good folks at Lake Meadows need to confer with the nice folks at Inland Bank so they'll have some idea of how quickly their money will be forthcoming.

I'm sure that would be an interesting conversation.

The Real Deal

2010-01-19T11:12:00.002-06:00

Look who has another real estate based business venture.

Scylla and Charybdis

2010-01-19T09:09:00.004-06:00

For those of you whose mother didn't make them take two years of Latin, Scylla and Charybdis are the original "rock and a hard place."

Kinda like that calf between the crocodile and the pride of lions.

Early last week, I felt like that calf.

With this being my second round of unemployment, I have a very good sense on what to do and how to handle most situations.

But as many of my fellow unemployeds know, oft times your best efforts aren't good enough.

So then you switch tactics and network.

And then you network some more.

Then you leverage friendships to see if you can navigate the HR black hole that your resume is bound to land in if you don't make some type of effort.

But your efforts wear thin and erode your self esteem.

I have never been one of those people who's identity is closely tied to their work.

I now realize that while I crave stability I get easily bored with sameness and repetitive actions.

So when I had a job I obviously liked the financial stability but the repetitive, never changing nature of what I had to do, was slowly killing my soul.

But a sister has bills to pay.

And speaking of bills, I'm sure you can imagine the number my second tour on the dole is doing on my FICO score.

I am a living breathing embodiment of the term, "Rob Peter to pay Paul."

Rock and a hard place.

Besides the fact that I hate not being able to fully pay my bills, I still owe friends a considerable amount of money.

I really hate that. I really, really, really hate that.

But that's for another post.

So on top of worrying about covering bills and the job hunt, when I do finally make it past the HR and hiring manager gatekeepers will my FICO score be an issue?

Rock and a hard place.

Let's not discuss SPS and my mortgage.

Yet before this dissolves into a complete pity party, the great thing about The Battle at Krueger is that the rest of the buffalo come back for the calf.

Despite the fact things look pretty bleak, his clique rolls up and chases off the lions.

They rescue him from his rock and his hard place.

It always seems that help comes when you most need it and you least expect it.

Metaphor

2010-01-13T07:31:00.002-06:00

I swear that I felt like this calf yesterday.

Good Hair

2010-01-11T12:23:00.004-06:00

Most people know that change can be difficult.

Which is why I started my mini self improvement kick with an easy task. How difficult is it to get rid of a movie club membership?

The next task was going to take a little more of a gut check.

I have been wearing hair extensions---or my weave---off and on for about 12 years.

For those of you who aren't familiar with weaves they range from either synthetic or human hair on a weft to mini wiglets to the ever popular lace front.

And make no mistake, you get what you pay for.

If you want people to exclaim "I didn't even know that wasn't your hair!" odds are that you or your hairdresser has a hella hookup to a supplier who can get their hands on amazing human hair.

As Chris Rock pointed out in his movie "Good Hair," the epicenter of the human hair business is in India.

For brevity's sake, see or rent the movie for the full explanation.

I'm black. I already know how it works.

And don't pepper me with questions. I'm not the friggin black hair care encyclopedia. You've got access to the internet, look it up slakcers.

As a small aside, if I were an Indian girl with long beautiful hair you should be concerned if you're being followed by a group of black women.

It just might be a little suspect.

Mr. Rock's movie planted the seed that bloomed to the idea for me to start wearing my natural hair---again.

Aside from the cost (don't ask) I have a problem putting money into people's pockets who do very little for the community that enriches them.

Or at least that's my perception.

Another small aside for those of you who don't know---It would be ill advised for you to approach any black woman, even if you know her, and ask her about her hair.

Don't ask, don't touch and you'll come out alive.

If you ignore these rules, and make no mistake these are rules, I cannot be responsible for what's going to happen to you.

I'm just trying to look out for you all.

So if you happen to see some hair challenged woman around Woodlawn, try not to snicker too loud.

I'm getting reacquainted with myself.

Resolute

2010-01-10T10:25:00.004-06:00

As 2009 came to a close, I decided not to make any new year's resolutions.

While there's a great many areas where I can improve, I decided to think about 2010 in another way.

I wanted to be a part of the solution.

Pretty lofty ambitions for a 40 something unemployed IT worker.

I will say that having free time on my hands has given me time to really think about my life, how I live and what's important.

And while I don't expect my decisions to have an immediate impact on my little corner of the world, I can at least make an effort.

With that basic premise in mind, I set out to take small steps to align my some of my living with my beliefs.

The first step was the easiest.

I cancelled an online movie subscription a few days before its quarterly renewal.

The company not only had a new billing vendor but the vendor was located out of the country and due to that we the customers were being charged a foreign transaction fee.

Yeah---I don't think so.

While that may seem small, I do get over $100.00 a year back in my pocket.

Unemployed or not, $100.00 bucks is $100.00 bucks.

It's not the big things that take you're money but the small ones that bleed you dry.

And while I was gladly paying the money every month, it was that little foreign transaction fee that gave me the push I needed to say enough---no more.

One phone call and it was done. It was easy.

Unfortunately my other personal projects required a little more of a gut check.

Things Fall Apart, The Chickens Come Home To Roost

2010-01-07T09:16:00.000-06:00

One afternoon there was a knock at my door.

Imagine my surprise when I saw The Teacher on the other side.

Neighborly feelings have been in short supply since the bad neighbor dustup in the fall of '08.

While I was sorely tempted to walk away from the door, I answered it with a noticeable attitude.

And before everyone gets pissy, please note that I've gone across the hall and knocked on my neighbor's door only to hear someone come to the door, see them peep out the peephole and hear them walk away.

I'm just trying to give you all some background, but I digress.

So there we were, face to face.

The Teacher proceeded to briefly tell me what had been said in the condo board meeting; some of which was directed at her.

I was taken aback not only at the highly personal nature of the barb but the fact that since I was only one of two people who knew about the revelation, the information more than likely came from me.

Understandably the verbal attack upset her and as she was telling me this story, she started to cry.

At the time when I was talking to her I told her that I didn't reveal the information but as I sat and pondered afterward, there is no way that the information didn't come from me.

And that was some low down gut bucket bullshit.

My mama taught me better. There are no excuses for my actions.

Then I started to ponder a little bit more.

I was (and am) totally in the wrong.

But I get a knock at the door when her feelings are hurt? Hot tempers and words said in haste are of importance only when they're directed at her?

I felt a bit of manipulation rising to the surface.

While I don't doubt that her feelings about the comment were real and sincere, don't go getting all concerned about civility when some of the shit you've been throwing at the fan splatters back on you.

Clearly the animosity directed toward her by some members of our little association wern't by accident.

When you talk crazy to people and let your temper get the better of you, that's bound to have some ramifications in the long run.

My question is can we build a bridge, get over ourselves and be able to conduct association business?

Only time will tell.

The Bloggies

2010-01-03T09:02:00.002-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen the nominations for the 2010 Bloggies opened on the first.

If you're not familiar with The Bloggies, they are the preeminent and longest running awards for bloggers.

And I want you and your friends to nominate this blog in the "Best writing of a weblog" and "Best kept secret weblog" categories.

You have to nominate two other blogs for a total of three nominations in each category so make sure that you nominate other well deserving blogs besides yours truly.

So wake the kids, tell the neighbors, send an e-mail to all of your friends to nominate I Hate My Developer.

If I make it to the finals you can look at the newbies to the blog and tell them that you've been reading since the great porch project of 2006.

Crafty

2009-12-28T21:19:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when you're unemployed, have a ton of christmas ornaments and a hot glue gun.

Gardening and crafting?

I'm one cat away from a female middle age crisis.

Things Fall Apart, The Drama

2009-12-22T09:19:00.002-06:00

The battle lines were drawn.

Hackles were raised.

It was only a matter of time before a match dropped into this powder keg of hurt feelings and bruised emotions.

Boy howdy, did it ever.

From what I understand thinly veiled accusation were made about the handling of association finances. The bait was taken and that led to a personal attack against the individual who voiced the thinly veiled accusation.

And so on and so forth.

It got ugly. Real ugly. Real quick.

Aside from the childishness of such an exchange, comments like that had (and have) no place in any association meeting.

I get that you may not have the warmest feelings toward your neighbor but if I could sit next to my developer when he chose to come to meetings and not loose my shit; then everyone else can grin and bear it.

Moreover, personal attacks and bickering mean that association business can't get done. If business can't get done we can't move forward on several important topics that need our immediate attention.

Such as a fellow owner who doesn't see fit to pay their assessments.

And when I say not paying their assessments, I don't mean not slowly paying because your unemployed like me.

I mean not paying because they "don't understand what assessments are for."

I'm not sure if it occurred to anyone within this little melodrama that the fires of animosity may be actively stoked to throw the scent off other outstanding business.

And when I say outstanding business I mean delinquent assessments.

What bothers me the most is that a confidence that was entrusted to me was one of those extremely personal zingers exposed at that meeting.

While I don't remember ever repeating this confidence, after the incident was brought to my attention and much thought, it is unlikely that the information came from anyone else.

Plus my name was brought up as the source of the information.

That's how you know this shit is running deep.

I've been privileged to be entrusted with a great deal of information from many people.

And as relationships tend to go, sometimes you have disagreements big or small with your peeps.

But I've managed to keep the lid on where several bodies are buried despite pissing someone off or being pissed off. It's important that people vent. As the saying goes, no man (or woman) is an island.

Unless you're under subpoena, you need to keep the highly personal stuff out of the gossip mill.

That's how crazy all of this has gotten.

Now I'm telling tales out of school.

The Never Ending Story

2009-12-20T11:46:00.001-06:00

As usual, the trash on the north parkway continues to be a problem.

Why Mt. Carmel can't come up with a workable solution to this issue is beyond me.

It's kind of like knowing that it's going to snow every year yet not having a snow removal plan and salt at the ready.

So I composed and sent the following e-mail to the person in charge of "maintenance" at Mt. Carmel and cc'd my alderman and neighbors:

"It has been over two weeks since I've spoken to you about the trash on the north side of the 65th Street Parkway.

If Mt. Carmel has completed a clean up it was barely noticeable since I've been literally looking at the same bag of discarded trash for the past month. Now more trash has been added to the parkway.

I've been hearing for years how Mt. Carmel is committed to being a "good neighbor." If that's the case, why does there have to be constant reminders about picking up trash and shoveling and salting the parkway? This isn't the first discussion we've had about these topics and based on history, it won't be the last.

Even when the seasonal grounds crew cuts the grass, I've routinely seem them move trash on the parkway into the street and in some cases not pick up the trash at all.

It's difficult enough watching people use our neighborhood as their own personal trash can. My neighbors and I do the best we can to pick up on and around our property and to encourage the culture of not using the parkways, lawns and street as a garbage bag.

Why can't Mt. Carmel do their part without constant prodding? Is this how a "good neighbor" behaves?"

Since I'm confident that they are out for winter break we'll get to look at the crap across the street at least until the beginning of January.

If we're lucky.

Surprises Abound

2009-12-16T13:42:00.001-06:00

Who knew that people who rubbed shoulders with Nobel Laureates, Rhodes Scholars and Pulitzer Prize winners even knew about the offerings of yours truly?

I might even re-read “The Closing of the American Mind” to see if I’ve changed my opinion in 22 years.

Right after I finish “The Beauty Myth.”

Just keeping it real south of the Midway---thanks for the shout out U of C.

Things Fall Apart, The Back Story

2009-12-15T08:35:00.002-06:00

Drama has been brewing within our association for some time.

Without getting into any specifics, their was a perception among some owners that communication within the association was sorely lacking.

Moreover, when there was a request for information it wasn't exactly answered in a timely manner.

Now I took into account that anyone can manipulate a story to suit their needs and that I'm sure several key facts were left out.

Nonetheless out of everything that was said to me by several different people, the animosity was always directed towards the same person.

One would think that someone might be trying to manipulate me or maybe I'm just lucky that people feel the need to unburden their souls to yours truly.

Who can tell?

Now there are things you should know.

First, the drama is between a group of women.

Second, it's my opinion that it wasn't so much the lack of communication but the manner in which the inquiries were received.

You see not everyone has control of their temper.

When the manner of how you conduct association business is questioned and probed by people who really haven't stepped up to the plate, yeah you're gonna be pissed.

Trust me, I know.

Add that to a potential bad day AND a temper and you've got the beginnings of an in-house fight.

Since I myself have seen the "Mr. Hyde" side of this individual's personality, I never thought it out of the realm of possibility that others may have felt it's wrath.

So let's recap:

We have a bunch of women in a condo association with hurt feelings, misunderstandings and animosities between them.

What could possibly go wrong with that scenario?

Moreover who would attempt to capitalize on this chaos?

Things Fall Apart

2009-12-12T15:08:00.002-06:00

Drama is afoot within the association.

While I've seen infighting before, it has now reached such a vitriolic levels we can't get any business done.

Which isn't good when you have important business that needs to be conducted.

And when I say vitriolic I mean highly personal attacks during condo board meetings.

Highly personal.

So feelings have been hurt and lines have been drawn.

Since I haven't been to a single meeting in quite awhile I'm going on what has been communicated to me by others and by those who send me e-mails.

Because as I'm sure you all remember, I decided to absolve myself of helping with any condo business partly due to nasty confrontation with a neighbor last year.

But that wasn't only the straw that broke the camel's back.

Mostly the apathy of most of my fellow owners pissed me off to no end. Everyone wants everything done yesterday but isn't willing to truly commit to the effort.

So fuck it.

I'd never asked for a dime of payment for my efforts but being taken for granted and then being told that you're a bad neighbor was just too much.

I rarely get too emotional. I'm not a yeller or a screamer by nature so often people mistake me looking at them like they're crazy as a sign of passiveness.

Losing ones cool often leads to larger drama and who needs that?

But once you're on the list---once you've reached my limit---game on.

Then it's scorched earth.

I'm not proud of that personality trait but I realize that I fall extremely short of God's grace.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I didn't understand how far I'd fallen.

One Track Mind

2009-12-11T18:44:00.001-06:00

Unemployment is clearly a cash cow.

Trust me, I was just as shocked as you when I found this out.

Unfortunately the big bucks that I pull in from unemployment disqualifies me from receiving any type of assistance from LIHEAP or a Link card.

What kills me is that when I explain my basic monthly outlay to keep a roof over my head and the lights on the reply I receive is "We don't take your bills into account. That's not how this program works."

Un-flipping-believeable.

For a family of one (the cat doesn't count)can only have a gross income of about $1,100 a month to qualify for the Link card. For LIHEAP the most you can only is $1,354 a month.

I completely understand why many are just pissed off.

No one will help you despite the fact you've been a good egg and paid into the system.

Most homeowners with equity in their homes will not be helped by the Obama Plan.

Most single people can't qualify for a medical card or the Link card from the state.

One would almost think that the social service system isn't designed to help the middle class. You might also be tempted to think that the once you qualify for any type of help, that the system is designed to either keep you impoverished or make you lie to keep your benefits.

I'm done. I'm totally absolutely done.

C'mon Son!

2009-12-06T16:10:00.003-06:00

I was in the middle of watching Law and Order Friday night when the picture went out.

Since I have Dish satellite for cable this isn't an uncommon occurrence.

If the wind blows too hard or the weather suddenly changes the dish won't pick up the signal.

Usually you give it a few minutes and the picture comes right back in.

Except on Friday.

I waited and waited and my picture never came back.

The weather seemed clear and I performed the diagnostics but no dice.

Since I had plans, I decided to pursue remedies when I returned later that evening.

When I did get on the phone with the Dish customer service representative we ran through a few more diagnostic tests with the same results.

So a service call was scheduled for Saturday.

When Luis the service technician came out he climbed up to the roof he quickly and efficiently diagnosed the problem.

My satellite dish was gone.

Some trifflin' ass motherfucker climbed on my roof---directly over my head my I add----on a dark, cold windy Chicago night and STOLE my satellite dish in the middle of Law and Order.

Ain't that a bitch?

I was completely undone. It took a day for me to calm down.

Who climbs up on your roof at night to take a flipping dish?

It turns out that despite a majority of the dish being plastic, there are some metal components that can be worth up to $15.00 on the street.

So does that mean that the thief goes around collecting dishes until he (or she) has enough scrap metal to make decent money?

Clearly we're not out of this recession if people are roof surfing for cable satellite dishes for scrap metal.

It's like I had my own personal "C'mon Son" moment.

Your ass is such a bootleg, ghetto ass criminal that you have to risk life and limb to grab dishes off peoples roofs.

Damn, player.

Normally during this time of year it's the beginning of the "jacking season."

The jacking season usually lasts from the holidays until after the tax refund anticipation loans stop.

They'll jack you for your Christmas gifts. Your purse will get cut while you're in a large crowd.

If you're foolish enough to get your taxes prepared at a Currency Exchange don't be surprised when someone sticks a gun in your face as soon as you exit.

People usually become extra cautious and take care to not draw attention to themselves.

Most people exercise using common sense and street smarts.

And until yesterday I thought I was one of those people.

Little did I know that jacking had gone three stories up.

Kool Aid

2009-12-05T07:13:00.003-06:00

On occasion my neighbor Erin and I have serious discussions on what's wrong with this country.

While she sites Maroon 5 and Nickelback as prime causes, when I saw her yesterday I brought up a far more sinister force that is permeating our way of life.

Ladies and gentlemen, resist the Snuggie nation.

Billing itself as a blanket with sleeves, the American people have fallen for this ruse hook, line and sinker.

These abominations unto God are flying off the shelves like hotcakes.

At first I could ignore it like any other bad trend. Then recently I saw this horrific display in the front of the Walgreens at 67th and Stony Island.

Even Black people have taken a big gulp of the kool aid.

To quote Florida Evans, "Damn, damn, DAMN!"

When I asked the security guard if the evil Snuggies were selling briskly he said that they were. He even commented that he was considering getting one.

I guess the look on my face told him otherwise.

"So I shouldn't get one?" He asked.

"Ummm, no." I replied.

I then asked him what was wrong with the blankets that he already had at his house? He replied "But this is a blanket with sleeves. It's like I have a blanket on but it won't slip off when I walk around."

Damn player. How can you even begin to debate that slothful logic?

We're so lazy as a culture we can't even cover ourselves with a blanket. Now we have to take them everywhere?

I will say that if he expects any heat in the romance department, he best not be walking around in a Snuggie when his significant other is around.

'Cause if some man tried to rub up against me in a Snuggie I would inform him that until that thing is burned at the stake the candy store is closed.

Hell, the friction of all of that attempted rubbing might cause a spark which in turn would engulf the offending garment in flames.

Those things don't look too flame retardant.

Like all of the things I've instantly hated throughout the years----Pete Rose and Milli Vanilli just to name a few---I hope America wakes up before it's too late.

The Snuggie is the garment equivalent of having way too many cats.

You've been warned.

Beating A Dead Horse

2009-12-01T00:19:00.002-06:00

It shouldn't be a shock to anyone that irresponsible absentee landlords own properties on the south side.

But celebrity irresponsible absentee landlords is somewhat of a news story.

To be accurate I should correctly state that Antoine Walker is not an absentee landlord but rather a celebrity investor or principal in two real estate investment companies.

Mr. Walker has had a rather tumultuous year.

It appears that his financial troubles have continued to reach into the Chicago real estate arena.

According to the Chicago Tribune Mr. Walker is "the target of more than a dozen lawsuits alleging poor management of numerous properties, unpaid debts and damages caused by shoddy repair work. In one case last month, the city won $950,000 in court-ordered fines against Walker Ventures."

The article further states that most of the legal issues stem from the alledged day to day mismanagement of the properties.

One of the self described "managing members" of the companies is also accused of "fraudulently collecting $10,000 in federally subsidized rent payments, though those actions are not connected to Walker Ventures or AW Realty."

Unfortnately this is nothing new to those of us who live here.

What stands out to me are two glaring issues.

It saddens me to see Black people victimizing other Black people yet again. But it easiest to make money off of those who are less likely to manipulate the system in their favor.

While race may play a roll in this, it's probably more of a class thing.

Who cares or pays attention to poor Black people?

Secondly, when are CHAC & HUD going to stop serving as piggy banks for anyone who signs up for the program?

It seems that once you pass your initial and annual inspections you have little reason other than money to keep up with the maintenance.

But yet the payments still continue.

Because until CHAC and HUD tighten up their policies, especially concerning condominium developments, the cash cow will continue.

And nothing will change.

But the south side will continue to get more of the same.

Thank You New York Times

2009-11-29T11:31:00.002-06:00

From today's issue of the New York Times. My comments are in bold italic.

November 29, 2009

U.S. Will Push Mortgage Firms to Reduce More Loan Payments
By PETER S. GOODMAN
The Obama administration on Monday plans to announce a campaign to pressure mortgage companies to reduce payments for many more troubled homeowners, as evidence mounts that a $75 billion taxpayer-financed effort aimed at stemming foreclosures is foundering.

Foundering? It was a poorly written piece of legislation designed to protect the banks from taking a bath on properties that were worth less than the loans. Make no mistake, it was always about protecting the banks, never about helping people.

“The banks are not doing a good enough job,” Michael S. Barr, Treasury’s assistant secretary for financial institutions, said in an interview Friday. “Some of the firms ought to be embarrassed, and they will be.”

So you're going to try to embarrass financial corporations who pushed for the TARP bailout? These people have no shame, you can't embarrass them.

Even as lenders have in recent months accelerated the pace at which they are reducing mortgage payments for borrowers, a vast majority of loans modified through the program remain in a trial stage lasting up to five months, and only a tiny fraction have been made permanent.

Mr. Barr said the government would try to use shame as a corrective, publicly naming those institutions that move too slowly to permanently lower mortgage payments. The Treasury Department also will wait until reductions are permanent before paying cash incentives that it promised to mortgage companies that lower loan payments.

Shame as a corrective measure. Really folks? Really? What do they care if they get the money? This is just a thinly disguised PR campaign anyway. Most of the banks have already chomped away at that big old $700 billion dollar pie. Who cares if they miss $1,000 here or $1,000 there.

“They’re not getting a penny from the federal government until they move forward,” Mr. Barr said.

My ass.

From its inception early this year, the Obama administration’s program, called Making Home Affordable, has been dogged by persistent questions about whether it could diminish a swelling wave of foreclosures.(It can't) Some economists argued that the plan was built for last year’s problem — exotic mortgages whose payments increased — and not for the current menace of soaring joblessness.(Duh) Lawyers who defend homeowners against foreclosure maintained that mortgage companies collect lucrative fees from long-term delinquency, undercutting their incentive to lower payments to affordable levels.

Last month, an oversight panel created by Congress reported that fewer than 2,000 of the 500,000 loan modifications then in progress had become permanent under Making Home Affordable. When the Treasury releases new numbers next month, it is expected to report a disappointingly small number of permanent loan modifications, with estimates in the tens of thousands out of the more than 650,000 borrowers now in the program.

More unsatisfactory data is likely to intensify pressures on the Obama administration to mount a more muscular effort to stem foreclosures beyond the Treasury’s campaign this week. Populist anger has been fanned by a growing perception that the Treasury has lavished generous bailouts on Wall Street institutions while neglecting ordinary homeowners — this, in the midst of double-digit unemployment, which is daily sending more households into delinquency.

Funny, didn't I say that? By the way, it's not a perception it's the truth. Banks---$700 billion, American homeowner and taxpayer---screwed.

“I’ve been very frustrated by the pace of the program,” said Senator Jeff Merkley, an Oregon Democrat who sits on the Senate Banking Committee. “Very few people have emerged from the trial period.”

Though the administration’s program was initially proclaimed as a means of sparing three to four million households from foreclosure, “they’re going to be lucky if they save one or one-and-a-half million,” said Edward Pinto, a consultant to the real estate finance industry who served as chief credit officer to the government-backed mortgage company Fannie Mae in the late 1980s.

A White House spokeswoman, Jennifer R. Psaki, said the administration would continue to refine the program as needed. “We will not be satisfied until more program participants are transitioning from trial to permanent modifications,” she said.

Capitol Hill aides in regular contact with senior Treasury officials say a consensus has emerged inside the department that the program has proved inadequate, necessitating a new approach. But discussions have yet to reach the point of mapping out new options, the aides say.

“People who work on this on a day-to-day basis are vested enough in it that they think there’s a need to do a course correction rather than a wholesale rethink,” said a Senate Democratic aide, who spoke on the condition he not be named for fear of angering the administration. “But at senior levels, where people are looking at this and thinking ‘Good God,’ there’s a sense that we need to think about doing something more.”

Mr. Barr, who supervises the program, portrayed such deliberations as part of a constant process of assessment within the Treasury. He expressed confidence that the mortgage program had sufficient tools to deliver relief, characterizing the slow pace as reflecting a lack of follow-through, and not structural defects requiring a revamping.

Do these people live in the real world? Lack of follow through on the program? The legislation doesn't need a revamping? These people are so out of touch with reality it's sickening.

“We’re seeing a failure by some of the bigger banks on execution,” Mr. Barr said. “We’re going to be quite focused and direct on particular institutions that are not doing a good job.”

The banks say they are making good-faith efforts to comply with the program and provide relief.

My ass.

“We’ve poured resources into this,” said a spokesman for JPMorgan Chase, Tom Kelly. “We’ve made dramatic improvements, and we continue to try to get better.”

Some senators contend that the Treasury program, addressing mortgages whose low promotional interest rates had soared, is outmoded.(Duh) At this point, foreclosures are being propelled by joblessness,(Duh) which is sending millions of previously credit-worthy people with ordinary mortgages into delinquency.

Within the Senate, some discussion now focuses on pursuing legislation that would create a national foreclosure prevention program modeled on one started last year in Philadelphia. That program forces mortgage companies to submit to court-supervised mediation with delinquent borrowers aimed at striking an equitable resolution before they are allowed to proceed with the sale of foreclosed homes.

Go get 'em Philly. Rock it out.

Some Democrats say the time has come to reconsider a measure opposed by the Obama administration: giving bankruptcy judges the right to amend mortgages as a means of pressuring lenders to extend reductions.

Lawyers who defend homeowners against foreclosure increasingly say they doubt the Treasury program can be made effective. Under the plan, companies that agree to lower payments for troubled borrowers collect $1,000 from the government, followed by another $1,000 a year for up to three years. The program is premised on the idea that a small cash incentive will induce the banks to cut their losses and accept smaller payments.

But the mortgage companies that collect payments from homeowners — servicers, as they are known — generally do not own the loans. Rather, they collect fees from investors that actually own mortgages, and their fees often increase the longer a borrower remains in delinquency.

Under the Treasury program, borrowers who receive loan modifications must make their new payments on a trial basis and then submit new paperwork validating their income to make their modifications permanent.

But borrowers and their lawyers report that much of the required paperwork is being lost in a haze of bureaucratic disorganization. Servicers are abruptly changing fax numbers and mislaying files — the same issues that have plagued the program from its inception.

“People continue to get lost in the phone tree hell,” said Diane E. Thompson, a lawyer with the National Consumer Law Center.

Some lawyers who defend homeowners against foreclosure assert that mortgage companies are merely stalling, using trial loan modifications as an opportunity to extract a few more dollars from borrowers who would otherwise make no payments.

“I don’t think they ever intended to do permanent loan modifications,” said Margery Golant, a Florida lawyer who previously worked for a major mortgage company, Ocwen Financial. “It’s a shell game that they’re playing.”

Shell game indeed...

On The Come Up, Garden Edition

2009-11-23T09:09:00.001-06:00

I was waiting for the bus last week and happened to look over towards the community garden and saw new structures on the property.

Now that the leaves are off the trees you can easily see the garden from Stony Island.

Naturally, I trotted over there a few days later and this is what I saw:

We now have a new pergola that will be catching rain water for collection in one of several barrels AND provide shade.

As you can see, they kept the old one. It's just in another part of the garden.

There is also a new sturdily constructed storage shed.

You know it's quality when you see the nice Amish people hammering away.

Out of all of the odd sights I've seen on the south side, none was odder than the Amish rolling through the 'hood.

Perhaps other business people will take note. The Amish will go anywhere they can make money. They don't judge a neighborhood by marketing and sales projections and put out a quality product.

Plus I've been angling to get one of those white caps for my hair when I garden.

Nonetheless, the garden looks even better, cleanup day is tomorrow AND I hear that we're getting a new fence in the spring.

Now if we could only get rid of those flipping Japanesse beatles.

For Real?

2009-11-22T09:48:00.005-06:00

So rumor has it that the our economy is coming out of this recession.

You can't tell that from where I'm sitting.

The north east corner of Marquette and Blackstone Avenue. The property was just boarded up in the last few days but has sat vacant and untouched for well over two years.

A close up of the sign that the bank posted.

Solutions

2009-11-19T09:15:00.001-06:00

Money is tight these days.

But I'm sure you figured that out as I'm unemployed.

As a result, the personal grooming budget had to be sacrificed.

It's not like was going out for facials, massages and seaweed wraps when I had a job but I tried to get my nails and hair done with some regularity.

You know, the basics.

Money hasn't been the only culprit, I've simply lacked the will to get off my ass and groom myself.

It's like a never ending downward spiral. You don't go anywhere so you don't get dressed. You don't get dressed so you stay in your PJ's all day. You stay in your PJ's all day so you don't comb your hair.

You know where I'm going with this.

But yesterday, I decided that I had to break the cycle. I couldn't look like a bag of ass anymore.

Yet how could I make the magic happen without breaking the bank?

The solution: Cosmetology schools.

For $5.00 plus a small tip, I was able to get the eyebrows tamed and a pretty good manicure.

So I feel better, look better and didn't spend a great deal of money.

Thanks, Truman Cosmetology Salon, I needed that.

On The Come Up

2009-11-16T09:43:00.002-06:00

Since I rarely drive I may have missed the fact that the 63rd and the Dan Ryan had both inbound and outbound exit ramps.

Nonetheless the south bound exit coming from the city seems new to me.

Now I'm hoping the construction is sound and nothing falls apart, but can you believe this landscaping?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is 63rd and Wentworth.

But I'm sure you could tell that by the grattiesque auto parts sign in the background of this picture. Prettying up the urban landscape won't happen overnight.

Normally the ramp medians would be choked with weeds and trash.

This looks like something you'd see on the north side.

We're on the come up.

Anniversary

2009-11-16T00:28:00.001-06:00

Eight years ago yesterday, I closed on my current home and began my adventures on the south side.

If they (and I)knew what they (and I) know now.

A toast to beautiful Woodlawn and the wonders she holds.

We Were Warned....

2009-11-13T10:14:00.000-06:00

The O'Jays tried to tell us, but we weren't listening.

Capitalism

2009-11-12T06:30:00.000-06:00

It was with some interest that I finally got around to seeing Michael Moore's latest offering "Capitalism, A Love Story."

I didn't realize that my own private little unemployment and mortgage hell had been translated to the big screen.

So much for that book deal and movie options.

Say what you will about Mr. Moore, but I can tell you with absolute clarity that I'm living a vast majority of that story right now.

On it's face that may seem depressing, but there are a number of things that let me know I wasn't the only one to notice that things were amiss.

Mr. Moore also called attention to those who foresaw the subprime mortgage fallout. He also pointed out that the TARP bailout was passed on the second go round despite the fact it was voted down the first time.

Make no mistake friends---This whole TARP thing sounded extra bootleg the minute it was announced.

It's nice to know I'm not crazy. I wasn't being paranoid.

So the question remains---what's next?

What happens when people's severance or savings disappears and they find out that the safety net that was so generously extended for corporate America isn't large enough for "average" American?

Ladies and gentlemen if you didn't read it when I wrote it the first time, understand it now: We're screwed.

I'm just curious about the course of action the rest of my fellow Americans are going to take when they wake up and smell the coffee.

This may not be pretty.

Mortgage Epilogue, Part I

2009-11-05T08:29:00.000-06:00

On it's face my mortgage situation has been worked out---at least temporarily.

When I didn't know what would happen, I contacted the press about my situation to see if a little well needed publicity would help the matter.

While I spoke with various members of the press, this is the only story to emerge so far.

Much thanks to Ashley Gross and the lovely folks over at Chicago Public Radio.

The Great Pumpkin

2009-10-29T08:17:00.005-05:00

I've always been a classic cartoon freak.

So much so, that I boycotted that bootleg piece of cinema that somewhat resembled "The Grinch That Stole Christmas."

Imagine the nerve of Hollywood sending the Grinch down the hill twice. TWICE!

For real?

So it is with that in mind that I present a text message conversation between myself and my sister during "The Great Pumpkin" broadcast on Tuesday.

(Sister) 10/27/2009 6:58:56 PM
It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on ABC Now!

(WW) 6:59:38 PM
I know. I just tweeted that same thing!

(Sister) 7:01:19 PM
Classic! Watching with the boys. (Editor's note: My nephews)

(WW) 7:13:01 PM
Best line from Linus: "I thought little girls believed whatever they were told."

(Sister) 7:13:54 PM
Lol

(WW) 7:17:24 PM
Charlie Brown getting the rock is such a wonderful metaphor.

(WW) 7:21:46 PM
Charlie Brown in that mask looks like R. Kelly. I didn't know that R. was biting (Editor's note: Biting = copying) off of old Chuck...

(WW) 7:23:09 PM
If a dog's lips were the least of things that mine have touched...Sweet Jesus.

(Sister) 7:23:29 PM
Snoopy. Gotta love him.

(Sister) 7:24:17 PM
Whooo (Editor's note: Snoopy howling when Linus plays a sad song on the piano.)

(WW) 7:24:45 PM
How did you know I was laughing?

(Sister) 7:25:59 PM
We've watch this together forever, blockhead.

(WW) 7:26:28 PM
I love that he looked all embarrassed.

(Sister) 7:27:28 PM
Right. That's what makes it so damn funny.

(WW) 7:31:00 PM
Did I just see Chuck in a commercial and did he just say "homies?" Sweet Jesus (Editor's note: A horribly voiced "modern" Charlie Brown was in a :15 second ABC promo for some dreadful new cartoon about his new "homies.")

(WW) 7:32:10 PM
Now we stop watching---Ass. (Editor's note: The original Great Pumpkin was on followed by some bootleg Charlie Brown cartoon---I would have none of it and changed the channel.)

(WW) 7:33:20 PM
My final favorite metaphor is "I went trick or treating and all I got is this bag full of rocks."

(WW) 7:34:59 PM
I changed to "The Bob Newhart Show,"

(Sister) 7:35:01 PM
The commercial was a bit much.

(Sister) 7:35:50 PM
You're missing Joe Cool.

(WW)7:36:33 PM
Joe Cool circa 1990---Ass.

(WW) 7:37:36 PM
OMG, it's Suzanne Pleshette!

(Sister) 7:39:22 PM
Shut up!

(WW) 7:40:04 PM
I told you I'm watching "The Bob Newhart Show."

**End Conversation**

Frankly speaking it all comes back to your warm childhood memories.

Droopy

2009-10-28T08:11:00.006-05:00

The south side is awash in people carrying really bad knock off Coach purses.

The "Logo C" has been Coach's staple for almost ten years.

But it's everywhere---I'm sure you've seen it but may not have realized (or cared) about a logo on a purse.

Nonetheless, you know a purse is really popular when you see the bootleg guys on Chicago Avenue with the knock off almost immediately.

So I've seen the "Logo C" pretty much on everything.

Or so I thought.

As I was sitting on the bus with a gaggle of high school kids, I was counting the minutes until I could exit at my stop.

I believe one of Dante's levels of hell is a packed bus with high school kids.

That's when I saw it---the ultimate ghetto fab.

Young people wearing saggy pants showing their underwear is nothing new.

A young person wearing saggy pants shows his bootleg Coach "Logo C" briefs IS something new.

Jesus keep me near the cross.

Not only did I NOT need to see that but so much was going through my mind:

Who sags AND wear printed designer underwear? Is he just that label conscious or is he a gay thug?

Why would anyone want to show their underwear to the public if they're not LaPerla?

I guess I'm truly an adult.

How Facebook Saved My Ass, Part 2 or How The Collegiate Mafia Came Through Once Again

2009-10-26T08:54:00.003-05:00

My recent mortgage foolishness has been a thorn in my side.

And that's putting it mildly.

For those of you who have been reading for quite some time, you know the past few years haven't been paradise.

Jesus take the wheel.

But as we all know, bad things happen to good people everyday. And in some cases, really, really bad things happen to really, really good people.

So in the grand scheme of things, my issues were (are?) a cake walk.

No one was bleeding, I could stil feed myself and I had a roof over my head.

Now my mortgage servicer was trying to affect the later.

Obviously, I was upset.

One of my dear friends who is a regular reader of this blog suggested that I contact a mutual friend of ours who might be in a position to offer some advice.

She also mentioned that she recently reconnected with her on Facebook.

At this point, the situation was (is?) dire----what did I have to lose?

So I reached out to our friend after many years.

I felt a little awkward as we haven't spoken in for some time but have many friends in common from our college days.

So I took a chance.

After a round of phone tag, we spoke and I explained my situation.

It's not that I want to antagonize Select Portfolio Servicing but I failed to understand why there was such a glaring hole in the Obama plan.

But don't get me on that soap box right now.

Let's just suffice it to say, I pray you all don't lose your jobs, run through your severance and savings.

Unless you're the auto industry or banking, let's just say your bailout options are severely limited.

But I digress...

Within hours, my friend received my information via e-mail and said that she would see what she could do.

Two days later, I received a much more sympathetic phone call from my mortgage servicer.

Now they wanted to give me "options."

To quote the late great Dinah Washington, "What a difference a day makes."

I wouldn't have been given "options" without the suggestion of my friend who in turn found our other friend on Facebook.

That's when I started to think, there actually might be something to this little thing.

So I had to check it out.

While my college network may not have as much prestige at The Northwestern Mafia, I may be able to argue that they aren't any less influential.

How Facebook Saved My Ass

2009-10-23T09:38:00.003-05:00

I relentlessly mocked Facebook and my friends who lived and died by their "status."

As much as I've revealed over the past four years on this blog, I don't believe that my life is so interesting that you really care what I'm doing every minute of every day.

Plus you can't have all of your business out in the street.

You'd hear about these foolish children posting salacious details about their activities along provocative pictures and wonder why their admission offer to their number one college was suddenly revoked.

As a small aside, I'm glad camera phones and Facebook wasn't around in the early nineties.

Let's just say, my options for running for political office would be even more limited.

Sweet Baby Jesus.

Plus I felt at 41, Facebook wasn't exactly for generation X.

Hordes of Gen Xer's constantly updating Facebook on their iphones seemed (and seems) a little silly.

So I dug my heels in and stubbornly refused to drink the Kool Aid.

That is until a close friend had a great idea.

Cue The Eye Rolling

2009-10-19T22:30:00.007-05:00

Senator Durbin got back to me via the post. This is an excerpt of his letter:

Dear Woodlawn Wonder:

Thank you for your message. I appreciate hearing from you and share your concerns about the housing crisis and its impact on our nation and communities throughout Illinois. Enclosed please find a list of HUD approved counseling agencies that may be able to help you refinance your mortgage and keep your home. Also included are phone numbers for local helplines that may be able to aid you as well.

Obviously I didn't make myself clear. So I composed another letter.

Senator Durbin,

Thank you for your October 16th response.

Unfortunately it did not address my concern that the HAMP program does not cover home owners who are ahead in their mortgages and may fall behind in their payments due to unemployment.

Even the Congressional Oversight Panel states that "HAMP was not designed to address foreclosures caused by unemployment, which now appears to be a central cause of nonpayment, further limiting the scope of the program."

While I appreciate the supporting documentation, lists of HUD approved counselors will not address my situation.

What will address my situation is the Treasury Department expanding the HAMP program to consider unemployment. I fail to understand why I'm being punished for not being underwater with my mortgage and unemployed.

It seems had I purchased more home than I could afford or mortgaged it to the hilt, I would qualify for the program.

While the automobile and banking industries are "too big to fail" apparently the American homeowner is not.

Since you chair the subcommittee on Financial Services and General Government why can't you bring this rapidly escalating issue to the attention of the Treasury Department? Senator Durbin most unemployed Americans don't have another six months for the government to act on this issue.

Where's our bailout?

Sincerely,

The Woodlawn Wonder

Ladies and gentlemen, we are adrift and on our own. Our lawmakers are completely and utterly clueless.

By the time they "get it" we'll all be in a shelter.

The Blueprint

2009-10-18T08:30:00.002-05:00

When I got the news that I was rejected from the Home Affordable Mortgage Program I was really, really upset.

To the point of tears.

And, might I add, a little hysterical.

For those of you who are long time readers of this blog, you'll remember that it took me 11 long months to find another job after my layoff from my previous employer of 9 years.

Usually foreclosures start at or around the 90 day mark.

We've had five in our association over the years so I've been at ground zero and am somewhat familiar with the process.

While it can take over a year, once it starts you either have to have a pile of money fall out the sky to stop it or sell your home.

Right now, neither is not a viable option. Who in the good Lord's name is going to rent to someone who dosen't have a job? Even the best do gooder liberal has bills to pay in these uncertain economic times.

I know very few people who can subsidize others right now.

So I knew that I'd have to help myself.

When I calmed down, dried my tears and had a few glasses of wine, I crafted this letter:

I just received a letter from my mortgage servicer letting me know that I DIDN'T qualify for the Home Affordable Modification Program AND due to my unemployment the the principal and interest that I can pay is unacceptable to the mortgage servicer.

What does this mean?

It means that as of the end of October, my mortgage goes back up to it's original payment (I was on a modification plan for $XXX) of $X,XXX.

I bring in whopping $X,XXX a month on unemployment and whatever I make at my waitressing job (usually under $XXX a month).

My lender said that they can't work with me on another loan modification program until I get a job to provide sufficient income.

I have never heard something so ass backwards in my life. At this point, I stand a very real chance of being foreclosed on.

When you hear about the program, you're under the impression that it's set up to help.

You lose your job through no fault of your own and you want to do right and keep your house, so you report your change in situation to your lender.

Huge mistake.

At this point honesty---for me at least---has not been the best policy.

It seems that the Treasury Department didn't plan for people having problems with their mortgage due to unemployment rather than being "upside down" in their mortgages. A part of the letter reads:

"The reason you do not qualify is that you did not pass the U.S. Treasury Department's Net Present Value (NPV) Test. The NPV test determined that the amount realized by sale of your property following foreclosure exceeds the amount that would be obtained through a modification of your mortgage."

I thought the point of the program was to keep people in their homes?

Call me at (XXX) XXX-XXXX if you'd like to discuss the situation further.

I seriously don't know what I'm going to do.

Sincerely,

The Woodlawn Wonder

I sent the letter to President Obama, Senator Richard Durbin, Congressman Bobby Rush, State Senator Kwame Raoul and State Representative Barbara Flynn Currie last Monday, October 12th.

Oh yeah, and a few members of the press.

Since it was a legal holiday I knew I wouldn't hear from anyone for a couple of days. Nonetheless, on Wednesday I went ahead and did some follow up.

I was pleasantly surprised at the progress I made and also received a game changing suggestion.

Well Shut The Front Door

2009-10-17T11:36:00.003-05:00

You are not gonna believe the phone call I just got from Select Portfolio Servicing.

Un-flipping-believeable.

More later.

Fight The Power

2009-10-16T09:41:00.002-05:00

Battling the system can be exhausting.

My hair is a hot ass mess.

But fear not people, I think I've made some positive progress. I will update the blog in the next few days with details just in case you need to mount your own defense to save your home.

Nothing is guaranteed but at least my story may start to resonate with people who can actually help.

We'll see what happens, but rest assured I'll keep you all updated every step of the way.

Not Backing Down

2009-10-12T12:30:00.001-05:00

You know do know that I'm not going to let this Select Portfolio foolishness happen without a fight?

I have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen next but I'm in the process of getting my ducks in a row.

Let's see what one determined woman can do.

Game on.

Rejected

2009-10-09T17:07:00.001-05:00

I just received this in the mail from my lender:

Dear Borrower:

Select Portfolio Servicing, Inc. (SPS), as a servicer for your loan, has reviewed your account for the Obama Administration's Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP). We regret that we are unable to qualify you for HAMP based on the information you provided to us. The reason you do not qualify is that you did not pass the U.S. Treasury Department's Net Present Value (NPV) test. The NPV test determined that the amount realized by sale of your property following foreclosure exceeds the amount that would be obtained through a modification of your mortgage.

Words absolutely fail me at this time.

I very well could be looking at foreclosure in the next few months.

Developing...

Finished?

2009-09-21T12:25:00.003-05:00

I noticed something interesting when I was walking down the alley the other day.

What? You don't walk down the alley on your block?

How else will you know what's really going on in your neighborhood?

Anyhoo...

I was walking down the alley and noticed that the back windows of the newly renovated apartment building are covered in plywood.

The openings where the back doors should be are covered in plywood as well.

It appears that someone from the inside may not be able to exit to the back porch.

How in God's name can you rent apartments to tenants and not have another way out of the building in case of an emergency?

That ain't right and that ain't safe.

Moreover, that doesn't sound legal.

It's Always Something

2009-09-20T14:21:00.005-05:00

Like most people, I have some neighbors that only speak to me when they need something.

A phone number of another neighbor. A key to the basement. I'm usually persona non grata until their needs come front and center.

That's not to say that there aren't a few great people who live in my association.

Neighbors who will pick me up when they see me on the bus stop, or take me along with them when they go to a big box store. Kind simple gestures that show a basic level of humanity and consideration.

And don't think for one minute that I'm making my neighbor's responsible for hauling my ass from point A to point B. I have a Chicago Card and a shopping cart, thank you very much.

But it sure is nice to give righty and lefty a break and every now and then.

So after the "Great Assessment Debacle" last fall, I made the decision to pull away from caring about my condo association.

Why in God's name would I care about our home more than a majority of the people who live here?

It's not just their attitude towards me that sticks in my craw---I've got thick skin. It's their complete lack of willingness to help in the smallest way for the betterment of our home.

Let me emphasize that again---OUR home.

Stuff doesn't get done around here by hoping and magic fairy dust.

While I have my issues with our treasurer and his wife, I will give them their props for doing a great deal of work on behalf of this association.

But then of course so have I and a few other people.

Unfortunately that spirit of cooperation nd a tiny bit of sacrifice is sorely lacking among a majority of my neighbors.

Which makes our latest set of issues quite interesting.

In A New York State Of Mind

2009-09-14T18:50:00.000-05:00

The Saint of 9/11

The Blueprint 3

*Images courtesy of Tribecca Films and Roc Nation*

Clearly It's Not The Rabbits We Need To Worry About

2009-09-11T08:01:00.000-05:00

Per my Tweet from yesterday, some jackasses are going into the garden and stealing produce.

That's just plain out and out bullshit.

The only leeway I'd give would be if someone's hungry but even then I'd rather you ask me for my tomatoes than find them used in an impromptu food fight.

Just a gut feeling after seeing the remains of ripened tomatoes all over the garden.

If you remember part three of my Yo Chicago interview on You Tube, you'll see a glimpse of my tomato plant which only had about five tomatoes on it vs. fifteen from the week before.

So much for tomato, mozzarella and basil salad.

The Good Neighbor

2009-09-10T08:01:00.003-05:00

Neighbors.

You're blessed if you have good ones. If not, the few good ones you have will stand out even more.

It's difficult to put into words how much I simply adore this young woman. We initially met because of former neighbors but her blog also keeps me in stitches.

Before I go on a rant about bad neighbors, I'd like to reintroduce you to Erin, the author of Swim & Glitter. Her posts make me laugh out loud.

Her latest one is no exception.

You'll hear me talk about a great many things. My sex life won't be one of them.

Giving Up The Ghost

2009-09-03T12:28:00.001-05:00

The last time I wrote about Carlton Knight’s Dixie Highway property, the day to day operations had been taken over by a court appointed Receiver in December of 2007.

The Receiver really gave it a go.

Rents were collected and recommendations for repairs were made.

Some tenants were evicted, some were moved to other units and others continued to live in their current situation.

Make no mistake, the condition of the building was (and is) dismal.

But sometimes, no matter how much you want to make it happen, you’ve got to give up the ghost.

From the 13th report:
“We had come to the conclusion that given the condition of the property and the limited income we were receiving, it was better to vacate the property rather than keeping only a handful of paying tenants, which would have resulted in an operating deficit of at least $4,000/month.”

Holy Crap.

Even with loads of money the Receiver and Inland Bank couldn’t make that dog hunt.

I guess you need to know when to throw in the towel.

But the scary part is that the property didn’t get that way overnight.

At least that what the Receiver’s first and second reports said.

Do not make me detail the contents of reports three through twelve.

It’s just too jaw dropping.

And to think, people had to live in those conditions.

It just makes you shake your head.

Debut

2009-09-01T06:11:00.000-05:00

Check out my Yo Chicago debut.

Click on the links for Part II & Part III.

Mowed

2009-08-31T10:31:00.001-05:00

Are you ready for this?

The last building on the block with an overgrown yard has finally cut their grass.

Foolishness. Just plain foolishness.

While that is a big step in the aesthetic look of the neighborhood, the downside is that now the first floor windows and main entrance has been boarded up.

The grass looks better but the now plywood abounds.

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Now the larger question is will the building be rehabbed? If so, will it be rental as well?

I will say, with everyone's grass cut, the block looks very nice and welcoming.

Developing...

Making Amends

2009-08-27T12:20:00.000-05:00

It finally happened.

The Roosevelt Collection not only refunded my friend’s earnest money but also his upgrade money.

All in all it took roughly two weeks for the checks to be issues once all the final paperwork was signed.

So The Roosevelt Collection manned up and did the right thing by their purchasers. That, my friends, is a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dismal real estate market.

Keeping your word, providing good customer service---go figure.

Perhaps some folks in Uptown might catch a clue.

Or could it be that the consequences of their actions are slowly but surely about to catch up with them?

Time will tell.

Shaking The Cup

2009-08-23T20:52:00.001-05:00

Yes, that is a donate button you see on the left hand side.

And yes, I'm still looking for a job.

But for those of you who remember my first go round with unemployment, decent paying jobs with benefits aren't exactly falling from the trees these days.

Nonetheless I'm plugging away.

But plugging away dosen't equal a full time job or money.

I'm still waitressing but that obviously dosen't pull in the cash one needs to pay the mortgage.

So while I search for a job, I'm shaking the metaphorical cup.

If you happen to find yourself with a couple of spare bucks you can easily, safely and anonomously pass it my way via PayPal.

If not, don't worry---we're still friends.

'Cause I'm not sure how long this storm is gonna last.

Seriously

2009-08-20T23:26:00.004-05:00

It's not like the fence around our back perimeter was the epitome of high security.

But for the last eight years, it's held up through dings, dents, trash truck accidents and attempted forced entry.

Yet now some fuck nut has seen fit to bend a post so badly that anyone could just walk through the opening.

Holy shit.

All of this came about as one of the locks to our back gates went missing and when it was replaced, a notice wasn't posted.

Because a notice wasn't posted, new keys weren't distributed.

And when I went to take out my trash (*ugh*) the other day an unwelcome chore went to downright unpleasant as I had to carry my trash around the building and down the alley in order to properly dispose of it in the dumpster.

That's more than I can say for another one of my neighbors as they left three bags of stinking ass trash inside of our gate on the ground.

Let me repeat that in case you missed it---one of my neighbors as they left three bags of stinking ass trash inside of our gate ON THE GROUND.

Trifflin' ass...

So this evening when I went to go look off the back porch, I see the trash is gone but the fence post is severely bent.

Frankly, I don't think any of this is a coincidence.

But I do know this---some dumb ass thought it was a good idea to leave open trash on our property to attract vermin AND someone thought it was a good idea to bend the fence post to the point it's created a security risk.

Who in the H-E double hockey sticks do I live with?

Seriously?

The First Harvest

2009-08-18T21:42:00.001-05:00

Behold, nature's bounty in the form of collard greens.

I cooked them with turkey bacon, seasoning, garlic and a little bit of water.

Yum!

Watership Down

2009-08-11T14:15:00.003-05:00

Bunnies.

Their long eared, twitchy nosed, brown gray furred cuteness gently hoping along bothering no one.

That is until you plant a vegetable garden.

Then you look at them the way an anxious father looks at the boy his daughter starts dating---with a mixture of dread, fear and loathing.

I knew that the local flora and fauna thrive in our little urban-suburban paradise.

I also knew that rabbits had become a scourge of Grant Park gardens in recent years.

They cutely nibble away at the very expensive plants that both the Chicago Park District and the City put down to make our urban experience just a little bit brighter.

While this city has many issues, it’s apparently rabbit nirvana.

So much so, that the rabbit population has exploded in my neighborhood in the past few years.

I can see why they like the ‘hood; fresh water lagoons, tons of green space in two parks bridged by Midway Plaisance, few coyotes to hunt them and three urban gardens to nibble---that’s not a bad gig.

The average person takes this with a grain of salt. The average gardener would like to see Mopsy, Flopsy and Cottontail banished to an island never to return.

So it was with little surprise that I saw a young rabbit looking my way when I was walking home from the train one day.

While I hate those little buggers he was really cute with the previously mentioned twitchy nose and round furry body.

He was so young that he didn’t know that he should fear me and let me inch closer and closer.

And so this little dance continued between us over the next few weeks.

In fact I was able to get close enough to snap pictures.

But then it occurred to me that’s how they suck you in---they get you to like them, then you have a hard time putting them in a pie when they eat your collard greens.

Diabolical motherfuckers.

Elmer Fudd is my new hero. I wish I had a spear and magic helmet.

Snippets

2009-08-04T12:15:00.004-05:00

The grass is growing back in the vacant lots around my house.

Japanese beetles are decimating my collard greens. Nonetheless, there was enough to harvest for a meal.

The new rentals down the street are accepting Section 8/CHAC vouchers and the grass is starting to look like a bag of ass (again).

It official: The neighbors from hell have moved next door. More on that later.

And if you didn't know it already, I'm very quotable. Read the latest story on yours truly. Note: If you're prompted to sign up for a newsletter, blow past the screen by clicking on the enter link to progress to the article.

Bullshit

2009-07-28T14:05:00.004-05:00

Per my Twitter post, the parties at the Metropolitan still continue.

You know the thing that absolutely kills me?

Is that these parties wouldn’t happen if this facility was located in Hyde Park.

Or even next to Rev. Finney’s home.

For those of you who don't know, the Metropolitan is housed in the former Christ Apostolic Church which moved to Bronzeville several years ago. Public records indicate that the building is still owned by the The Woodlawn Organization which is closely identified with the good Reverend.

I’ll bet money that if this foolishness happened in his neighborhood, that his neighbors would have him tarred and feathered.

Yet for the sake of the almighty dollar, my block has to play host to groups of people who cannot seemingly act like respectful human beings.

Kind readers, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again---Whoever is booking these parties is courting disaster in so many ways it boggles the mind.

This facility is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Security and/or supervision are non-existent.

Seemingly anyone who has the money can rent the facility.

Guidelines---What’s that?

It also seems that a majority of the groups that patronize the Metropolitan also attract a crowd that believes it’s a good idea to throw their empty liquor bottles and trash on the parkway.

Saturday morning the ‘hood looked green and pastoral, Sunday morning it looked like unadulterated shit.

It looked like a trash hurricane rolled through this bitch and deposited every liquor and beer bottle advertised on billboards saturating this side of town.

Now you would think that Mt. Carmel’s lawn crew would pick up the trash as they mow the lawn.

Unfortunately that is not the case.

Instead of picking up the trash, they simply throw it in the street compounding the problem.

Bottles break, gutters are blocked with debris, when it rains the street becomes a swamp.

Delightful. Simply fucking delightful.

So the question is this: Rev. Finney, why is this allowed to happen?

Oh yeah---

Have someone pickup the trash that is all over the Metropolitan’s lawn. It looks horrible.

Shoes

2009-07-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

It's your turn to talk back.

Tell me about the wearers of these three pairs of shoes. Who are they? What do they do for a living? Where were the pictures shot?

Let's see if your perception equals reality.

Just Wondering

2009-07-20T14:53:00.002-05:00

Jobs---Check.

A store full of fresh fruits and vegetables---Check.

Partnering in key community inititives---Check.

Tax Revenue---Check.

So why can't this Walmart get built?

Mystery Solved?

2009-07-15T14:19:00.000-05:00

It appears that the mystery of the rehabbed building down the street has been solved.

It’s a rental. A few tenants are already in the building.

I’m gonna be honest with you, I really thought the project was going to go condo.

Why?

The finishes seem above the basic contractor staples that you see throughout most rental buildings.

The floors are gleaming (Real wood? Laminate?) and the appliances are stainless.

You heard me right---stainless.

That’s some high livin’ those kids are doing down there.

All this begs the question, is the building owner renting out the units until the real estate market turns around or is this their first development?

Because who would put high end finishes and a stainless appliance package in a rental?

This ought to be interesting.

Enough

2009-07-14T11:39:00.001-05:00

Blaming Burr Oak families for this tragedy is like blaming Catholic families for not keeping their children away from pedophile priests.

Now mind your manners and act like decent human beings.

That is all.

Heavy Sigh

2009-07-12T10:10:00.002-05:00

Frank (or one of his relatives)has decimated the flowers on the back porch.

My refrigerator just died yesterday.

This is on top of the huge vet bill AND the unemployment countdown.

Do not be surprised when the Paypal tip jar appears in the sidebar---it's coming.

Turn About, Part 2 or Who’s Really In Charge?

2009-07-09T10:49:00.005-05:00

As I observed earlier, the proximity of urban living and natural living often provide for some interesting sights.

This is perfectly underscored when I go to tend to my little piece of paradise in the urban garden.

As a side note, I find it somewhat hilarious that my maternal grandparents came up from Mississippi in the great migration so I wouldn’t have to do this for a living.

That makes it deliciously ironic that I do this of my own accord.

Because of this, the urban garden is lovingly referred to as the plantation.

The glaring difference is that I don’t have to worry about an overseer with a bullwhip. I have to worry about ducking golf balls.

I wonder if slave holders seriously pondered the effective use of lobbing golf balls at the free labor pool as a means of physical intimidation.

I think they could have seriously saved money on security costs by simply installing a golf course next to the cotton fields.

Then it would have made the balls difficult to find.

But I digress…

As I tended to my fledging vegetables I noticed that a murder of crows quietly amassed on the new pergola.

They just sat there and seemingly stared at me.

I had already put two and two together and realized that they were just waiting for me to leave as my plot is close to someone who’s growing corn. Those bad boys just wanted to ravage the stalks for anything they could get.

At that time, I also noticed some shady, questionable gents loitering along the path.

You know the type---shiftless looking, poorly dressed in ill fitting attire who only come to a public park for reasons that isn’t entirely recreational.

At least in the “legal” sense.

The thought that popped in my head was “Great, I have two groups of murderers within twenty feet of me. They should get together and start singing ‘If I See An Elephant Fly’ from Dumbo.”

I started giggling. Sometimes I just slay myself with my own rapier like wit.

Luckily for me both groups eventually moved on.

As I was locking up, I heard a rustle by the tree line.

Much to my amazement (but not surprise) a HUGE raccoon came out and crossed in front of me.

I think he was just as befuddled to see me as I was to see him.

Like most of my other neighbors, I know he exists but I hardly expect to see him.

As he lumbered across my path with one eye on his destination and the other on me, I could have sworn he chucked the deuces my way.

Seeing that some of my animal neighbors could at times have rabies, I cut a wide berth around my masked friend.

When he reached a thicket of wild field greens and started to dig, I just looked. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to get anywhere near his territory.

Plus I was pondering how strong the fence was around the urban garden.

As he was searching for food, he looked up as if to say---“Is there something else I can help you with?”

I caught the hint and started walking home.

But the last critter in this hit parade of urban fauna is a cute little bunny I usually pass as I walk home from the train on Dorchester.

Or at least what I thought was one cute little bunny.

That, my friends, is literally a story unto itself.

Rack 'Em

2009-07-07T13:57:00.000-05:00

I swear that animals will be the death of me.

After almost a week at the vet's due to severe constipation (don't ask), my cat Midas has racked up a whopping $327.81 vet bill.

Looming unemployment and now MORE debt.

Jesus take the wheel.

Turn About

2009-07-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

I really love where I live.

That feeling only heightens in the summer time.

Now you’ve heard me piss and moan about trash, my neighbors---both in and out of the association and crime.

And make no mistake all are important factors in the livability of a neighborhood.

But despite all of that, I thank my lucky stars that I actually live within a stone’s throw from the site of the 1893 Columbian Exposition.

The impact of the fair cannot only be read on the pages of The Devil In White City, but also in Jackson Park and it’s lagoons parked off of Lake Michigan.

And as one can expect, that park is teeming with wildlife.

At any given moment I can witness a hustler in the middle of Stony Island selling laundry bags and socks while traffic completely stops to let a family of geese cross.

The urban/suburban juxtaposition boggles the mind.

The fact that you can have an occasional drive by shooting and see a raccoon larger than a dog going through your trash can make for an interesting neighborhood balancing act.

Frankly I think the animals that live by our side are so used to us that they consider us the attraction.

They very well may think that they are living in an open air human habitat in a very large zoo.

Now that I’m the farmer in the ‘hood I get to see just how our wild four legged friends interact with urban gardens and golf balls.

Garden Progress

2009-07-02T23:23:00.002-05:00

Tuscany? No, just the entrance to the Urban Garden off the first tee of the Jackson Park Golf Course.

Side shot of the garden.

Garden overview. Those small plants on the outer rim are marigolds. They're supposed to keep the pests away.

Only two of my four collard green plants have really taken off. Check out my huge tomato plant on the far right.

Collard greens close up.

The peppers are starting to take off. They need the warm weather to really start growing.

Mr. Tomato plant.

D-Day

2009-07-01T08:27:00.000-05:00

My job ends July 31st.

Unless my contracting company can find me another immediate gig or something miraculous happens, I’m back waitressing.

Paying my bills (and debt) on a waitress gig (again!)---that ought to be interesting.

I so miss having a good FICO score.

…And While We’re At It

2009-06-30T13:01:00.003-05:00

I have it on good authority that the Roosevelt Collection is going rental instead of condo due to the housing meltdown.

To those in the know this ain’t exactly groundbreaking news.

My source also tells me that the earnest money is due to be refunded “in a timely manner.”

Now does that mean timely in a “it took you less than 48 hours to cash my check” type of way or timely in “If you piss me off I’ll make you wait for your money---and you’ll be lucky to get it” type of way?

Due to crappy protections afforded to home and condominium buying consumers, will everything be dragged out until the legal statute of limitation to recover earnest monies run out.

*Cough* Theatre District Lofts*Cough*

Time will tell.

But here’s something to ponder during your day.

While the pundits say that the economic pitfalls of this recession are easing, there are those of us out here in the real world who would beg to differ.

Worrying about money is a new thing to some people.

They played by the rules, they saved and invested and didn’t initially worry when they lost their jobs.

But then three months stretched into six and six months into a year.

And despite cutting their spending and living carefully, their money has run out.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the shit is really hitting the fan.

Down payment money that was flowing so freely a few years ago is now the difference between putting food on the table and having to apply (and be rejected) for a Link card.

That money is the difference between making your mortgage payment and moving in with the relatives.

Yesterday’s yuppie or sink (Single Income No Kids) is today’s marginalized worker.

But marginalized on not, they want their money back.

Unlike other marginalized workers of old, this bunch is a lot more savvy and vocal.

I hypothesize that they will find a way to get their money back.

Whether it’s via social media, networking, writing elected officials or overhauling the whole freaking system, someone is going to make it happen.

‘Cause this time it’s not just the little guy who’s getting his house bulldozed by the city.

Everything’s been flipped on its head and now people are finding themselves in positions their grandparents and parents worked very hard to rise above.

This new class of marginalized worker is not used to being ignored.

Let’s just hope that change will come through positive and productive means and not as a result of chaos and upheaval.

But in the meantime the revolution might be forestalled if people were refunded the earnest money that’s rightfully theirs.

Just a thought.

Uptown Foolishness

2009-06-29T14:01:00.001-05:00

The guessing game of the day:

Exactly when will buyers in the unfinished phase (phases?) of the Theatre District Lofts receive their earnest money back?

It's been over a year.

Looks like the lawsuits are starting to pile up concerning this little fiasco.

Just asking...

Hold Up

2009-06-25T10:39:00.001-05:00

Yes, I know we’re all shocked and pissed by the Honorable John Fleming’s ruling.

But leave it to those kids at the Chicago Reader to show that this type of thing isn’t so uncommon.

Perhaps it’s time to focus outrage on the process that lets violent abusers walk and get the flipping laws changed.

And yes, that would require vigilance, follow-up and perhaps a letter or two to your state elected officials.

Most of us know that it’s not okay to beat on anyone but as the Reader article illustrates, this wasn’t the first time someone got their clock cleaned and the offender got a slap on the wrist.

Judge was simply the messenger.

No need to shoot him.

Zing

2009-06-23T14:25:00.001-05:00

About a month ago, the bricks came raining down from the façade on the Blackstone side of our building.

Yes, dear readers---we’re having façade issues again.

Except this time it was a different section.

Once again we were lucky that no one got hurt. But unlike the last time, our little mishap didn’t go unnoticed.

Hence the love note from the city.

How did I find out?

Easy---the city sent out the notifications to the last information that they had on file. Seeing that no one has bothered to file an annual report or bothered to change our registered agent with the state, the city decided to send notification to anyone they could find.

That included my address.

Now before I get on my soap box, I will acknowledge a few things in defense of my neighbors who are doing the heavy lifting.

The focus at the time was on paying off our existing special assessment and continuously following up on those members severely behind in their monthly assessments.

That hand you see being raised would be mine. Guilty as charged.

The rigors of dealing with association business and your own personal life has been known to drive a person batty. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Watching your lay about neighbors make excuse after excuse on why they either won’t or can’t help; listening to empty promise after empty promise can wear on your nerves.

I can understand the frustration for those of you who take the mantle of leadership upon your shoulders.

I can also understand why you’d want to slap the living dog piss out of your neighbors.

Nonetheless, the burden is yours to bear until you say you don’t want it anymore.

So as long as you control the money or are on the board---you have a fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interest of the association.

That means filing the correct paperwork with governmental bodies.

That means applying for the refuse rebate from the city.

That means following up on capital projects despite the fact that no one wants to hear about another special assessment.

Because when you don’t----well---you have our little situation.

I personally used to handle those initially insignificant tasks that come back to bite you in the ass but personal matters got in the way.

Then the unemployment.

Then I was told I was a bad neighbor.

At that point, I decided why should I use my talents and connections for people who don’t fully appreciate them?

I’ve showed everyone what was needed to be done.

If you’re too busy or too lazy to print out a piece of paper, fill it out and find supporting documentation---shame on you.

I’m done enabling a group of grown ups.

I know it’s not all about me. I simply dug down deeper than most are willing to do and found the answers we needed for our multiples situations.

It’s not like I’m curing cancer.

But it appears that in my absence, things have been handled in a less than efficient manner.

Your condo is your home, you have to treat the association like a business.

Or at the very least insure that the city doesn’t come snooping around.

Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, we have completely stepped in it---the proverbial shit is getting ready to hit the fan.

My concern is that when we get these violations repaired that our cash strapped city will find new ones.

If the city is trying to collect on Bears season ticket holders PSL's, anything's possible.

I predict that this is not gonna turn out well.

Not Good

2009-06-19T12:16:00.001-05:00

Per my Twitter post yesterday, we received this "love note" from the city.

Jesus take the wheel.

The backstory about this avoidable mess will follow in short order.

60

2009-06-17T13:00:00.001-05:00

Yes, that's the year John F. Kennedy was elected President.

And as luck would have it, it’s also the ranking my humble offerings were given by the Chicago Media Workshop’s report titled “Journalism We Want and Need.”

I’m wanted and needed? I feel very valued right about now.

You can find my blurb on page 19.

Chanting “I’m number 60!” doesn’t have the same ring as “I’m number 1!”

But sometimes you can't put a price on being wanted AND needed.

Restless

2009-06-12T09:06:00.004-05:00

It seems that my fellow Woodlandites are none too happy with the shenanigans and foolishness going on around 61st Street/South Campus area.

If you didn’t know, South Campus is the new name for that part of Woodlawn just south of the Midway (60th Street). Commonly recognized as the dividing line between University of Chicago and Woodlawn.

In the past the University of Chicago specifically told their students and faculty not to go south of the Midway. While that stance has been eradicated, the perception persists that once you cross that boundary, your physical being and immortal soul are in peril.

Nonetheless, those brave souls who have done just that and decided to make their homes in Woodlawn are pissed.

Potholes and gunfire just don’t seem to be their cup of tea.

As a matter of fact, one new blogger is simply furious at The Woodlawn Organization.

So much so that his whole blog is dedicated to shine a light on what he perceives as mismanagement of the subsidized housing managed by the organization.

Oooh Whee…

South side stand up.

Salting The Earth---The Pictures

2009-06-11T11:02:00.004-05:00

Vacant lots that until recently had grass and weeds in abundance. Then a few weeks ago---nothing.

Now do you see what I'm talking about?

Eye In The Sky

2009-06-10T10:50:00.005-05:00

I noticed a new addition to the 63rd Street Metra commuting experience this morning: The platform is now equipped with security cameras.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

As usual, I was running for the train when I saw a metal pipe-like structure attached to one of the wooden lamp posts. Imagine my surprise when at the end of the pipe I spied the unblinking eye of a camera.

Though I haven’t walked the platform to confirm it, there are probably cameras in plain sight of all four entrances to the station.

That suspicion was nearly confirmed as I looked across the way on the south bound platform and saw another camera pointing at its south entrance.

The scuttlebutt is that Metra in conjunction with Apostolic Church, had the cameras installed.

After all, the rapist still hasn’t been caught and the platform, stairwells and viaduct are extremely dark and isolated during the daytime much less at night.

While I welcome the cameras, I wonder if they’re monitored---If so, by whom? Dose this mean that they’re may be an emergency call box somewhere in our future?

If the scuttlebutt is true, it’s nice to see public and private entities working together to achieve a common goal.

Now I have to be careful if I have a “wardrobe malfunction” and go to correct the problem.

Unlike this crazy YouTube generation, there are just some things that just don’t need to be caught on camera

Hammer Time

2009-06-07T10:19:00.001-05:00

If you think for one minute that I wouldn't be all over this if given the opportunity, you're nuts.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that was a big bowl of awesome!

A&E, let's flash mob Michigan Avenue.

Drop me a line, let's talk.

Salting The Earth

2009-06-04T14:39:00.005-05:00

I noticed something the other day.

Nothing was growing on the numerous vacant lots in my neighborhood.

Not a weed, not a blade of grass---absolutely nothing was green.

And when I say nothing was green, the grass had been cut a few weeks ago and the remaining stubble was brown.

On its face and in the short term, that might be seen as a good thing. But natural things just don’t stop growing for no reason.

They definitely don’t all stop growing only on the vacant lots in Woodlawn at the same time.

Is it possible to save money on labor, gas and the wear and tear of equipment that the city may have literally salted the earth?

While I hate weeds and overgrown lots, the possibility that some type of chemical was applied to the ground makes me incredibly uneasy.

If this is what’s going on is this a new city policy? Is it safe for the ground and the water table? Hell, are we even by the water table?

What happens if a (reputable) developer someday builds on those vacant lots? If a chemical was applied will it retard any other vegetation growing?

Could you dig and put in a vegetable garden?

Note: Due to the high concentrations of lead paint in older buildings, it’s normally recommended to not use the grounds around the site of an older building or former building for vegetable planting.

I just find it extremely odd and the timing too close to be a coincidence.

Has anyone else noticed new “brown fields” popping up on city owned or vacant lots in their ‘hood?

Dodge Ball

2009-06-02T15:36:00.000-05:00

The bad news is that I’m still losing my job.

The countdown continues.

The good news is that I’ve renegotiated my mortgage (*again*) where I now pay $300 less a month.

Believe it or not, my mortgage is near what it was when I first moved in 2001.

While that frees up money, it would be nice if I continued to have a steady source of income.

Reducing instead of increasing debt would be welcome right about now.

My roller coaster life would kill a lesser person.

Oh. My. God.

2009-05-31T12:35:00.004-05:00

First we had to see this:

Then we had this:

And as of Friday, finally this:

Nice, eh? But based on past behavior, will they water the lawn so the turf takes to it's new home?

Now will the building be condos or rentals? Affordable? subsidized? market rate? If the building goes condo, will parking be factored into the equation? Who will market the property?

More importantly, who's the developer?

This story is moving forward (with a nice lawn might I add) but still developing.

Cock Starz, Part 2

2009-05-25T23:17:00.001-05:00

All quiet on the western front.

There wasn't a wayward car, stripper or over stimulated party girl in sight Sunday night.

Methinks the message may have FINALLY gotten through.

Just Planted

2009-05-23T22:25:00.003-05:00

Despite the fact that I live two blocks away from the urban garden, I'm still getting the hang of turning on the water supply from the golf course, ducking flying balls and not watering the veg so late that it's dark by the time you put the hose away and lock up.

I love our little patch of heaven but I ain't trying to get caught in a secluded grove of trees off a non-fenced golf course that's in a Chicago public park.

That's a recipe for a really bad time.

In fact, when I was watering last Tuesday about a 1/2 hour before the sun went down I noticed that random men were popping up on the golf course---without golf clubs and on the path surrounding the garden.

Creepy.

Unfortunately my time to water is limited as early in the morning isn't an option while I still have a job.

And no, there's nothing new to report on that front. Once I have news, I'll let you know.

Why do you think I'm trying to grow my own tomatoes, bell peppers and collard greens?

Anyhoo...

The potential for something very bad to happen back there is a real possibility so I always carry my cell phone and look for other people either jogging or on the golf course. So I try to very much stay aware of my surroundings while indulging my urban gardening steez.

Keep good gardening vibes coming my way. Keep your fingers crossed that a bounty is only a few months away.

Enjoy the pictures below.

Batty Batty Batty

2009-05-18T15:30:00.004-05:00

After having a rare Saturday night off, I woke yesterday morning intent on doing chores.

Number one on the list was to start with the front porch.

I had filled up paper bags with stuff from the day before and was transferring them to the back porch to finally go to the alley.

The first bag---no problem.

But when I picked up the second bag, a loud and aggressive hiss came from whatever was under it.

Startled, I did what any self respecting feminist would do.

I screamed like a little girl, turned tail and ran into the house.

Sad, but true.

Perplexed, I went about my chores until I screwed up the courage to see what exactly was hissing at me.

Courage being my middle name (*ha!*) I opened up the window that leads to the front porch, opened it and took the broom handle and once again lifted the overflowing trash bag.

What revealed was an uglier version of a mouse with rougher looking fur.

Ladies and Gentlemen I believe I had found a bat.

This time he didn’t hiss at me so I assumed that he was dying.

My burning question was why a bat had suddenly appeared incapacitated on my front porch?

Despite their blindness, bats have built in sonar so it’s not like their going to slam into wall, objects or people.

Furthermore, they tend to avoid people and sunlight.

I could only deduce that Mr. (or Ms.) Bat might be infected with rabies.

Now I was tempted to let Mr. Puss out to make short work of the beast but the ensuing vet bill if the bat was infected gave me pause.

All I need is for my crazy cat to become rabid. He already has a questionable disposition.

The only reason why he hasn’t cut me is because I have opposable thumbs and can open his food.

So a few more hours pass and my intent was to scoop up the dead bat and throw him over the side where I imagine some neighborhood scavengers would take care of him.

But when I went to check on his whereabouts, he had moved.

@%^&*#$?!

I hoped he had taken flight and left me alone.

When I went to reach for the trash bag and disturbed some of the other stuff on the porch, that hiss told me otherwise.

*Cue Woody screaming and running like a little girl (again)*

It was time to call 311 (The City of Chicago’s non-emergency help line) for animal control.

While I missed them the first time, they did come within the hour and were quite courteous and helpful.

The ladies (yes, ladies---I felt so ashamed) popped in and scooped up Mr. Bat within 5 minutes.

They agreed with me that the beast was acting strange and they wouldn’t be surprised if it had rabies.

Their next concern was Mr. Puss’ exposure to the bat; as they were prepared to take him in as well.

I told them he rarely went out on the porch and had not been out on the porch yesterday.

After taking some additional information, they gave me a slip and said if the beast tested positive someone would call me within 72 hours and follow up with me.

So while I ran like a girl and immediately thought of how a man should help me; to my credit I did contact the proper authorities who in turn handled the situation with promptness and professionalism.

And they didn’t laugh at me.

Even though I had some laughable behavior.

With all the waste you hear about concerning the City of Chicago, at least you know that your dollars are being wisely spent at Animal Control.

I can stare a wannabe gang banger down like nobody’s business but a bat can make me his (or her) bitch.

Woody, redefining irony everyday.

Club Honey

2009-05-12T06:23:00.003-05:00

I received this text on Saturday from one of my neighbors:

"I think there is something going on at the Metro Club. Gave some ladies directions to 'Club Honeys' at 1445 East XXth Street."

Yet when I came home the street wasn't mobbed with cars.

Odd.

The reason made itself apparent when I was walking to the train yesterday morning:

Is this lasting progress?

Jackson Park Urban Garden, 2

2009-05-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

Clean and green volunteers making signs.

Garden view of the golf course.

Jackson Park Urban Garden

2009-05-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, we're just that close to the Jackson Park golf course.

The start of a new fence.

A young helper digging post holes.

My little "half acre."

The compost pile.

Here Comes The Judge, Part 2

2009-05-07T16:10:00.004-05:00

I just don’t get the Honorable William Pileggi.

He seems like the real deal.

He’s cosigned on common sense initiatives and has even received an award from Neighborhood Housing Services.

From what I’ve been able to find on the web and glean from my lawyer friends, Judge Pileggi is okey doke.

He seems like a jurist who will put some bite and muscle into the maze of building codes in our fair city.

This makes his rulings concerning the property at 1512-1514 E. Marquette and Mr. Knight all the more troubling.

Court records indicate that on numerous occasions Judge Pileggi has given Mr. Knight more than enough time to comply with the City’s order.

My question is why was he granted so many chances?

If I can find the numerous actions filed against Carlton Knight in Cook County court system, surely he can as well.

One would think that those records alone would serve as a litmus test of Mr. Knight’s actions & behaviors.

Clearly I’m in the minority on this one.

As a result case number 2007-M1-402799 has been dragging out since October 4th of 2007.

But as I was recently mulling over the judges’ actions, I took a gander across the way and saw something miraculous.

A brand new porch.

Maybe it’s because I rarely look out of my back window or raise the shade. Perhaps with the sun rising earlier and setting later, it gave me an extended opportunity to gaze across the way.

Whatever the reason, that looks like new porch construction to me.

If the porch is new, I would be the first to tell you that I have no clue why Mr. Knight would all of a sudden comply with the city’s order.

I could offer up any number of theories but it would be a waste of both blog space and your time.

The bottom line is that the porch was built.

Now whether it’s up to code is the city’s call.